I don’t pay much attention to the NFL pre-season, in part because it’s filled with games that don’t count, and I’m not that into watching practice squad (and UFL) fodder compete for jobs. These games aren’t anything to take seriously.

That said, Lions rookie Ndamukong Suh is clearly taking the mere presence of Jake Delhomme very seriously here. The more I watch this, the more I wonder if Suh had a wager on that Panthers-Cardinals playoff game a couple seasons ago — you know, the one where Jake threw four interceptions, somehow didn’t get benched, and then threw two more. If I were a broke college student, and someone cost me a hundred bucks, I might want to smack them down, too.

Then again, if I were a broke college student betting on football games, I might need someone to call Gambler’s Anonymous for me…

Here are some other things going on in the wide world of football:

• The NFL and CDC are teaming up to fight 6 decades of “You’re not hurt that bad!” thinking about concussions. Good luck with that, boys. (Playbook)
• Is there really any need to shorten the preseason, other than money? (Shutdown Corner)
• If you’re visiting South Africa, be sure to check out the grand white elephants. (Dirty Tackle)
• If you’re visiting New Zealand, saying the words “Rugby”, “World” and “Cup” together out loud might cost you. You’ve been warned. (Techdirt)
• An American rugby sevens player will take a crack at the UFL. It probably helps that he played football at LSU. (FanHouse)
• Like Boise State’s blue turf? Check out Eastern Washington’s red turf. (via EDSBS, who thinks that red turf is JUST SO METAL!!!)
• Wanna buy a share of Arsenal? Only 100 easy payments of £102.50. (Pitch Invasion)
• Harry Redknapp will not tolerate your insinuations. (EPL Talk)
• Your 2010 AFL Finals series Week 1 fixtures, which make me wish Time Warner Cable would stop being so stingy and give us our ESPN3. (AFL.com.au)

Also, for those of you participating in this site’s Fantasy Premier League competition, I’ll have a prize announcement later today.

(H/T to Will Brinson for the video)

In case you missed it yesterday, Australia’s favorite troglodyte wrote this column for the Herald Sun, in which he suggested that homosexual AFL footballers should “stay in the closet,” because not only would the media firestorm be too much for any player to handle, but… well, gay people make him uncomfortable in the locker room. That’s what it boils down to, really.

This column has been met with near universal scorn from other columnists. Even AFL boss Andrew Demetriou is attempting to distance the league from Aker’s opinions, which he pretty much has to do. It’s 2010, and conversations about gay people focus too much on the “gay” and not the “people.” These are human beings with the same feelings, dreams and regrets as the rest of us, and we as a society of humans should be enlightened enough to recognize that. (Go watch a few episodes of Caprica to see how such a society can accept the existence of homosexuality without any problems. It’s actually quite interesting how the show’s writers handled this topic.)

That said, there is a small kernel of truth to what Aker wrote here, because football locker rooms are not exactly bastions of enlightenment. They’re rooms mostly full of dumb macho jocks who assume that any man who’s gay must want to touch their junk and try to convert them. That perception alone would make it that much harder for a gay AFL player to come out of the closet. Not only will the media spotlight indeed be blinding, but just about every other footballer would casually toss anti-gay slurs at that player until it practically chased him out of the league. It shouldn’t happen, but more than likely it would.

Still, why has this suddenly become a topic now? Why is Aker putting himself up for such scorn? Is he trying to distract people from the early-season offensive struggles of his Western Bulldogs, or putting his own publicity ahead of Friday’s huge #1 v. #2 clash between Collingwood and Geeling? (Which, by the way, will be available ESPN3.com after it airs live at 5:00 AM ET on Friday, and which you should watch, because it has all the makings of a barnburner.)

Honestly, I think Aker’s taking one for the league. He’s throwing a new issue out there to distract people from the larger, more problematic one — the AFL’s drug problem. Nobody’s talking about the 14 guys who got popped for using cocaine anymore. They’re talking about Aker’s discomfort with homosexuals.

You could almost imagine a conversation between Aker and Demetriou leading up to this:

Demetriou: “Listen, Aker, we need to get people to stop talking about footy players and cocaine for a bit. Can you come up with a column that changes the subject?”

Akermanis: “S’pose I could. How about something about getting the Socceroos to build new stadiums for 2018 and not use ours?”

Demetriou: “Nah, too close the World Cup. They’ll all side with Socceroos right now.”

Akermanis: “Alright… I could take a pot shot at poofs.”

Demetriou: “Perfect! Give it a go, mate. I’ll put a little extra in your column fee this week for that.”

Akermanis: “No prob. Want me to write the disclaimer for the league, too?”

Demetriou: “Nah, that’s why I hired the secretary… well, one of three reasons, if you get me. Heh heh.”

And now, everyone’s so busy getting on their high horse that they aren’t talking about all the players that might be riding the white horse. That’s really the only explanation for the timing of this column. I’d encourage all my fellow footy fans not to fall for this okey-doke. Recreational drugs are going to be a much bigger problem for the AFL and its image in the long run.

That doesn’t appear to be the case in the Australian Football League. Last season, 14 players failed drug tests involving drugs that might not be quite so performance enhancing:

Chief AFL medico Dr Peter Harcourt said it was clear cocaine was the dominant drug of choice.

“The emerging drug over the past two years has been cocaine,” Harcourt said.

“The trend has been to stimulants – cocaine, ecstasy and ice. Marijuana and cannabinoids have actually dropped off quite dramatically since the start of the program.”

14 failed drug tests for cocaine seems (pardon the pun) awfully high. Since the program was instituted as a response to, well, stuff like this, the overall number of positive tests has dropped. However, the number of positive tests for “cocaine, ice & ecstasy” is up from 12 in 2008 to 14 in 2009, and two of those tests are 2nd strikes. Players aren’t identified until they test positive a 3rd time, and there’s some question as to whether that’s the right move. Is it better to “name and shame” drug offenders — which is essentially what the NFL does — or is the AFL better off trying to help players wrestle drug demons in private first? In the wake of players like Fremantle’s Michael Johnson and Geelong’s Matthew Stokes getting caught by police rather than the league, Collingwood boss Mick Malthouse suggests there are massive double-standards within this policy:

The only difference between Johnson and last year’s AFL 12 is that Johnson was caught by police, not the AFL. Johnson has already been humiliated in the court of public opinion, will face a court of law and, no doubt, a lengthy club suspension…

I am an AFL coach responsible for 40 players, yet I have no idea if any of my players have been caught by the AFL for using recreational drugs. They could be 12 players from other clubs or 12 Collingwood players. I simply don’t know.

If that’s the case, that’s a huge image problem for the AFL. As Malthouse points out, Ben Cousins never tested positive for cocaine under league policy. If AFL Commissioner Andrew Demetriou really wants to stamp out cocaine use among AFL players, he might need to start ruling with an iron fist, a la NFL commish Roger Goodell. I suspect many footy fans believe Demetriou isn’t capable of that.

You gotta love designers. Tell them that it’s a World Cup year, and they’ll find a myriad of pointless ways to incorporate Joga Bonito into your life. Tell them that the World Cup is being hosted in Africa, however, and all the silliness goes away. They’re going to save the continent through football, dammit, and there’s no stopping them.

That’s not to say all their ideas are condescending, of course. Some, like the soccKet, seem quite useful. Created at Harvard University, the soccKet is basically a football with an inductive coil inside that can build up electricity as it gets kicked around. For many African university students studying on the curb near a street light because they can’t get electricity into their homes, the soccKet could allow them to do their homework under much better conditions.

Then there’s the Swirl (pictured above), which is basically a giant ball that you can fill with water and use to wash your clothes. It comes with handles so that you can roll it to the water, but you can also detach the handles, give it to the kids and let them have a kickabout while they’re doing their laundry. This is also a pretty good idea — right up to the point where one kid says, “Hey, let’s be like Wayne Rooney and practice our headers.”

We’re going to see more of these ideas as the World Cup approaches. Brace yourselves. In the meantime, here are some other football-related goodies from around the web:

• Ben Roethlisberger is expected to be suspended for up to 6 games for code of conduct violations. In other news… hey! It’s Byron Leftwich. [SB Nation]
• Terry Bradshaw’s one-man show is headed to Vegas. Vegas is saved! [Shutdown Corner]
• Joe Nedney takes on a robot in a placekicking contest. You might be surprised at who wins. [Playbook]
• The Australian Football Wars continue apace. This week’s battle front? Televised games on Anzac Day. [Herald Sun]
• Despite the Brisbane Lions roaring (sorry) to a 4-0 start, the life of new Lion Brendan Fevola seems to be going in the other direction. [Herald Sun]
• GolTV HD is coming to DirecTV. Fox Soccer Channel in HD? Not anytime soon, apparently. [EPL Talk]
• Football’s own Devil’s Dictionary. [Left Back in the Changing Room]
• Claudio Reyna is U.S. Soccer’s new Youth Technical Director, but will he address youth soccer’s biggest technical problem? [SignOnSanDiego]
• Is football better off without technology? [The Run of Play]

Finally, if you’re a soccer fan and you’re not reading Zonal Marking, you’re missing out on the best source of tactical analysis on the web. Go bookmark that site right now.

For more about this hit, check out these columns by Mark Robinson and Jake Niall. Jake, in particular, makes this interesting observation:

In the northern states, the perception that AFL is safer than the rugbys is a significant advantage. Those north-of-Murray mothers, though, are more likely to become soccer mums than footy mums if this thrilling game spawns too many high-velocity accidents. Perhaps, like Lewis and Harbrow, spectactor appeal and player safety are running in opposite directions.

(Thanks for the tip, Simon.)

After watching for about 15 minutes, the boy proclaimed, “I like this game! It makes sense!”

So as American football fans wait for September and shake their heads at the NFL’s new overtime rule — which only makes sense if you desperately want help Old Man Favre make one more Super Bowl – the 2010 Australian Football League season kicks off Thursday at the Melbourne Cricket Ground, and once again, the defending champion Geelong Cats are the team to beat.

They’ll have plenty of competition, though. The St. Kilda Saints will attempt to prove that last season was no fluke, the Western Bulldogs — shown here holding up their newly won NAB Cup trophy — could have their strongest squad in years, the Hawthorn Hawks will attempt to rebound from an injury-plagued 2009 campaign, and the Brisbane Lions, who now have both Jonathan Brown and Brendan Fevola up front (yoi!), could be the most interesting team to watch.

The AFL’s web site has your guide to all 16 clubs here, while Aussie TV network ABC serves up this preview on its web site. And if you’re like me and stuck on the opposite side of the world from all this awesomeness, your best bet to catch the action remains ESPN360, which bought the AFL rights from the dearly departed Setanta Sports last summer. Our pals at AFANA have the full ESPN360 schedule for the regular season here. (Take special note of the Geelong v. Hawthorn game slated to appear on ESPN2 in July. I will remind you about this one again. Last season’s Cats-Hawks tilt was also an instant classic.)

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again — if you’ve never watched Australian football before, you’re missing out on a fantastic game. Go give it a look.

I ask because MHz is now available through the Roku Digital Video Player, and according to the gang at AFANA, MHz still shows live AFL games. Thus, Major League Baseball would no longer be the only sport you could watch on the Roku.

Of course, this probably won’t get any of us hardcore football lovers to cut our cables and dump our dishes anytime soon, something I’ve lamented here before. We need the boys at Roku and Boxee and their competitors to give us sports fans some more complete offerings. If we could get, say, ESPN360 ESPN3 on a set-top box like this, it would become much more intriguing. A channel for Fox Soccer would also be something of a coup — and not entirely impossible, given that Fox seems to have the rights to everything except the World Cup, the Confederations Cup, La Liga, the Bundesliga and the Copa Libertadores.

How much would you pay for ESPN and Fox Soccer channels on a Roku? That’s a question someone ought to start asking.

Of course, just as soon as I make some exceedingly inane remark about shiny trophies, we get this monstrosity from the Russian Football Federation. This trophy, which goes to the club who has the best combined finish in the Russian Premier League and its equivalent youth competition, is made of almost 44,000 diamonds and 2.5 kilograms of gold. Yet somehow, it cost only $1 million to make, prompting Kobe Bryant to feel a sudden pang of buyer’s remorse.

And the bald dude in the reflection? He judges. Quietly.

This information comes to us from Yahoo’s brand-spanking new soccer blog Dirty Tackle, a gig that Brooks Peck got because A.) he’s very entertaining, and B.) I’ve been phoning it in for the last 18 months and still don’t have a plan for the future. But pretty much A.

Since I’m still phoning it in, though, here’s some other football-related stuff you should be reading:

• Every possible storyline for Super Bowl XLIV, and then some. [NFL Fanhouse]
• The annual Madden sim has the Saints winning by 10. No word yet on what Tecmo Super Bowl predicts. [Shutdown Corner]
• The Colts’ biggest fan? Jared. Way to go, Indianapolis. [The Sporting Blog, which, by the way, is all over this Super Bowl like white on Zenit St. Petersburg rice.]
• Memo to bakeries: don’t give the icing gun to people who know nothing about football. [Cake Wrecks]
• Anthony Bourdain takes on Miami cuisine. Sort of. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Jason Whitlock thinks NFL owners are foolish for even considering a lockout. He missed the part where the TV networks have to pay the owners in 2011 whether there’s a season or not, and wealthy men don’t stay wealthy by doing things that make them less money. [Fox Sports]
• Online betting in the USA is still technically illegal. And really sketchy. [Shutdown Corner]
• Drew Brees points out how the NFL is attempting to use the courts to become a single entity, rather than 32 separate teams. Kind of like Major League Soccer, come to think of it. [Washington Post]
• A complete list of soccer podcasts. And there’s a whole hell of a lot of ‘em, too. [EPL Talk]
• Royal Bank of Scotland has apparently had it up to here with Tom Hicks and George Gillett. [The Independent]
• The head of the Confederation of African Football banned Togo from the African Cup of Nations, just weeks after Angolan separatists sprayed machine gun fire at the Togolese team bus, killing 3 people. Here’s why he should resign after such an appalling decision. [Pitch Invasion]
• That whole thing John Terry getting his teammate’s girlfriend pregnant? He was just following John Harkes’ lead. I suspect it’s far less likely that England’s World Cup gets ruined over this. [Dirty Tackle]
• Brian Phillips is working on something awesome. Can’t wait to see it. [The Run of Play]
• Oh, by the way, the NAB Cup begins in a week. Are you ready for some footy? [AFL.com.au]

The latest battle in the Aussie Football Wars, however, won’t be fought over beers. Lost amidst the massive English and American bids for the 2018 World Cup is the fact that Australia would like to host FIFA’s big show, too, because soccer is growing down under, too.

And guess what? The AFL and NRL aren’t giving up their stadiums for your girl’s game. Oh, no.

See, unlike England and America, Australia has not one, but two major pro football leagues in season in June and July, and those leagues aren’t too keen on giving up some of their stadiums in the middle of the season. Sure, the World Cup might be the biggest sporting event on the planet and might bring unprecedented tourism dollars to Australia. That won’t stop the AFL and NRL from looking at it as a not only a huge shot in the arm to the competition, but a massive pain in the ass.

Perhaps if Football Federation Australia really wants to follow through on its darkhorse bid, it should start considering some new construction. Melbourne Cricket Ground can fit 100,000 people, but for a soccer game, they’ll all be about half a mile away from the action. Imagine paying the GDP of Slovenia for front row seats to the World Cup Final, only to find your view is partially obstructed by that bench 20 yards in front of you.

As much as I’d love to see the World Cup return to the States, I’m now hoping Australia does get it soon, if only to see just how ugly and bitter the Aussie Football Wars can get. I can’t wait to see the AFL devise ways to lure packs of Brazilians and Ivorians down to Docklands. “We’ll show ya some real footy, mates!” The resulting confusion alone might make for great television.

(Spotted on Pitch Invasion.)

And the Anindilyakwa don’t take too kindly to that call, ref.

Police feared for their safety when they turned up to a disturbance at a sporting field on Groote Eylandt to discover it had escalated to a full-scale brawl.

The brawl, involving several hundred people, some of them armed with axes and spears, broke out about 5pm (CST) on Sunday at the Angurugu sports oval during an AFL match.

It is understood the feud started on the football field when one of the teams was awarded a free kick.

Ummmm… did he just say “axes and spears?”

“A number of those people were armed with axes and spears and a large number were involved in hostile and aggressive behaviour, which was later directed at police,” (Police Superintendent Brent Warren) told AAP…

“As you can imagine, even when a number of police cars turn up, when you’ve got a crowd that’s potentially 500-strong, it’s difficult to take proactive action at the time.”

Oh, come on! You’re Australian! Be a man! Get a dick!*

Okay, maybe seeing an angry mob wielding sharp weaponry would encourage even the most hearty Australian to run away from confrontation. But let’s back up a bit. What got that angry mob started? A questionable call from the ref. They hated the call so much that they absolutely had to take matters into their own hands — kind of like the Dawg Pound, if you replaced the beer bottles with, y’know, axes and spears.

Let’s just hope and pray the Anindilyakwa haven’t given SEC fans any ideas.

(Spotted on The Sporting Blog.)

* – Australian blokes here in the Triangle shouted those last two sentences at the TV a year ago when Buddy Franklin took a dive during the AFL Grand Final. True story.

It wasn’t nearly as pretty or as high-scoring as the Round 14 clash between Geelong and St. Kilda. A downpour in Melbourne coated the turf and made the ball slick, and the high stakes made it seem even slicker and made the hits seem harder. The Cats and Saints wrestled and struggled through the ugly conditions, producing a Grand Final that had all the flow of a dammed stream.

But damn if you couldn’t take your eyes off of it.

With the score deadlocked at 68-68 in the dying moments of the final frame, the match cried out for a moment of genius to determine the winner. In the end, it was Geelong who made it happen, as Matthew Scarlett kicked a wobbling ball off the turf directly to Gary Ablett Jr., who used tons of space in front of him to boot it to the goal square, where it finally found Paul Chapman, who quick-snapped it high enough to hit a scoreboard in Dallas and watched as it finally flew through the goal posts for the game winner. A late goal at the siren proved meaningless, aside from making the final score 80-68.

St. Kilda was shut down after that. The Saints proved once again that nobody could disrupt the Cats’ transition game better than they could, but in the end, they were done in by inaccuracy in the 2nd and 3rd frames, where 9 of their 15 scores were behinds. A few more goals would have changed this one considerably. Getting the ball to big center-forward Nick Riewoldt proved difficult as well, as he was triple-teamed just about every time the ball was sent inside the 50 to him.

It was the Cats’ day, however, and with two Premierships in three years, this team has cemented its place as one of the greats in footy history, and they show no signs of slowing down. As for St. Kilda, they’ll be back as well, but their first title since 1966 will have to wait.

The only question I have left is this: what were the TV ratings like in America? How many people watched and/or recorded this Grand Final here? If the numbers are good, it could help Aussie Rules build an audience here. If you see the numbers before I do, feel free to post them in the comments.

Cats the last ones standing in epic battle. (afl.com.au)

After about 10 minutes, he told us, “I like this game! It makes sense!”

This kind of reaction is what got me all excited that Aussie Rules returned to ESPN earlier this month, right after Setanta Sports went pear-shaped in the UK and started selling off properties to make ends meet in Ireland and the states. Put this game in front of people, and once they figure it out, they’ll enjoy it.

Alas, the WWL has been too busy shining its light on the Premier League to give the AFL much publicity. AFL matches have been relegated to ESPN360, and at this stage, only the Grand Final on September 26 will air on ESPN2.

This pretty much sucks for me, because ESPN360 is only available to Internet service providers willing to pay for it. In this area, that means Verizon DSL, and anyone who’s been following me on Twitter lately knows I’ve grown tired of Verizon’s shit. They’ve been degrading their DSL service to get more people to sign up for FiOS — but of course, Verizon doesn’t offer FiOS here in central North Carolina.

So I switched back to Time Warner Cable, which doesn’t offer ESPN360, but also doesn’t go down twice a day, often for hours at a time. And it’s faster. It’s a tradeoff.

If you’ve got ESPN360, bully for you. That’s a decent site for watching both live games and match replays, and it will probably show most of the Finals Series. If you’re in my shoes, however, and don’t have ESPN360, but still want to check out the entire Finals Series, you’ve got one option: AussieSport.tv. This international site serves up full match replays, highlight reels and other vids associated with the AFL, NRL and something called V8 Supercars, which I assume is Australian for NASCAR. A one-month pass to the AFL in September is only $9.95, and a 4-day trial is only $1.95.

I think I might give this a try. I’ve missed out on most of the AFL season this year, save for that St. Kilda-Geelong match and an equally epic Geelong v. Hawthorn clash in Round 17 that was decided on the last kick, but something about this year’s Final Series looks compelling — especially the potential Geelong v. Collingwood clash in the opening round. I wonder if Anthony Rocca still has the distance on those kicks.

It has been widely reported that if Australia is to host soccer’s major event, then the only stadia capable of holding adequate crowds across the various states will be AFL and NRL venues. Ironically that is because soccer has not had sufficient success to build large stadia for itself. Yet now it has re-branded itself as simply “football” and increasingly journalists are abused if they dare to refer to it as soccer (its original nickname to distinguish it from the other codes of football). Some of kind of reverse-racism is in play – where once soccer was considered a game for ethnic minorities, now to even call it by that name is seen as discriminatory, yet its supporters and administrators claim the name football for themselves. Sadly, Australia’s national broadcaster, the ABC, has fallen into line.

And the sport’s peak body will almost certainly succeed in gaining access to the major venues of Australia, if it does secure the soccer World Cup. That’s because bodies such as the AFL and NRL would be seen as, that ugly term, “un-Australian” if they didn’t support the country’s bid, and no doubt there would also be government pressure to fall into line.

Read the rest at World Footy News. The football wars never end in Australia, do they?

Is that baseball game tied after 9 innings? Play another inning. Is that basketball game tied at the end of regulation? Play another five minutes. Still not decided? Keep playing until we have a winner. Even hockey games, which used to end in draws all the time, now have overtime and shootouts in the regular season. We demand winners in this country, dammit.

It’s the same with football. Yesterday, when the Philadelphia Eagles and the Cincinnati Bengals got to the end of the sudden death overtime period and it was still tied at 13-13 — the first tie game in the NFL in 6 years — everyone dragged out the old kissing-your-sister analogy. Draws are that unsatisfying to the American sports psyche. Hell, Donovan McNabb didn’t even think it was possible for an NFL game to end in a tie.

A question for all you Premier League fans out there — were you so unsatisfied by the outcome of the Hull City v. Manchester City match yesterday? Yes, it ended in a 2-2 draw, and at times, it was an instructional video on how not to play defense, but ultimately, it was a fine result. Both teams got a point, and perhaps that point will decide whether Hull and Man City maintain their league status at the end of the season.

Of course, league status is not a concern in the NFL. The Cincinnati Bengals aren’t going to get relegated to a lower league, much as some of us would love to see it happen. The idea that every game must have a winner, though, is unique here. Rugby matches end in draws. We usually get a draw or two in the AFL every year. Do they keep playing until someone wins? No, they accept the outcome and move on with their lives. If it were a playoff game or a cup tie, then sure, you have to play until there’s a winner. A regular season game? Nah, screw it. We’ll just split the points and move on.

Ah, but there are no points on offer in American football. There are only wins and losses. Perhaps that’s why the NCAA abolished ties and introduced its overtime system in 1996. That system eliminates all possibility of a tie. The NFL sudden-death OT system? Close, but not quite.

Perhaps if the NFL created a points system like the AFL has — 4 points for a win, 2 points for a draw — we wouldn’t worry about whether OT is necessary in a regular season game. We’ll just look at the points and determine who goes to the playoffs from that, and if certain teams have the same number of points, we’ll give them a extra point for a tiebreaker and move on.

This sort of system comes with a side benefit — the ability to dock teams points if they break the rules. What’s that? More than three of your players have been popped for using performance-enhancing drugs? WHAM! 5-point deduction. Oh, what’s this? You’ve been illegally videotaping your opponents for the last 5 years? WHAM! 25-point deduction. Now you have to go 16-0 just to get a Wild Card spot. Suddenly, the Hammer of Goodell doesn’t seem quite so Nerf-like, is it?

Will the NFL ever go in this direction? Don’t hold your breath. If anything, that Bengals-Eagles game will be an excuse for the NFL to reconsider the college overtime policy and ensure that there will never be a draw in the NFL ever again. Americans demand victors. It’s just how we are.

There’s been a lot of focus this year on violence in the NFL — hard hits, horrific injuries, past players looking for ways to prevent future concussions, bounties on players, new rules that may or may not be “pansying up” the game, and so on.

It’s all quite absurd, really. Those who prattle on about the violence of the gridiron game seem to forget that it is violence. It’s a brutal tactical war game that requires players to collide into each other at the fastest possible speed to stop an opponent — something players learn at a very young age.

For as bad as it looks now, though, American football was much worse a century ago. There was no padding, very little forward passing, and far more brutal battles in the trenches.

That might be one reason why the New York Times took a look at the state of American football and thought, hey, maybe those Aussies have a better idea.

“Practically a similar summing up as that of the major’s is the consensus among the Californians who have seen the game as demonstrated as it is now being taught on the coast. Its general absorption of most of the other types of contests with the leather spheroid has proved the rule whenever the issue was football”, wrote the Times.

“If we Americans want a safe and sane game of football we can do no better than to emulate the Australian style of game”, Major Peixotto says. “It is almost as open as lacrosse, as changeable as basketball, presents almost as many dribbling chances as the association game (soccer), and admits of no such close formations as exist under our college rules, and which, because of their tendency toward injuries, have raised such a hue and cry against the game”

Sure, it was published in 1910, and the old Major had something to sell people back then, but still, it makes you wonder just how many people would be more than happy to make the same arguments today. Perhaps the only difference is the number of deaf ears on which those arguments would fall. For all its faults, we’re still committed to the gridiron game around here. It’s enough to make you think we might be having too much fun with all this violence.

You can read the full Times article here. Nobody writes like that anymore. I wonder why.

Gee, what could have made them think that? Maybe this?

Some folks will disagree with me on this — particuarly this guy and this guy — but that’s because they only see this game through the filter of their own football code. If they stopped and looked at this from a neutral viewpoint, though, they might see a football code that has much more potential than is on display in this Australia v. Ireland test matches. International Rules requires a rare combination of speed, strength, agility and creativity that you don’t usually see in other codes. Yes, the play looked sloppy at times on Friday, but that’s because we’re dealing with two teams playing this particular brand of football for the first time in two years — and the rules have changed yet again, so even now it’s not the same.

If these two nations played this particular football code year-round, however, International Rules might develop into a uniquely entertaining game. We could see coaches come up with game plans and see players execute clever moves that would excite the fans to no end. We could see a form of football that would blossom into something new and exciting.

Imagine for a moment if this were the dominant football code on the planet. Imagine someone like Wayne Rooney was running around up front, taking marks and nailing overs like he used to nail middle-aged hookers. Imagine if Troy Polamalu were darting around the midfield, tackling any ball carrier coming his way. Imagine what Bryan Habana could do with a round ball and a little bit of space on the sideline.

We’ll never get to see that. Australia has its code, Ireland has its code, everyone else has their codes, and that’s that. We already have two truly international football games — soccer and rugby — and nobody really wants to explore the possibilities of any new codes. Why inject a bunch of new rules into football when the old rules seem to work just fine for everyone?

That’s a shame. Given a little bit of room to breathe, I think International Rules could be a great football game. I guess I’m alone alone in that regard.

Apparently, when International Rules Football was played in Croke Park in 2004, it wasn’t just a competition between two nations, but two species. Football is more fun when there’s a dog in the game, isn’t it? We should have canine pitch invaders in the Premier League every week.

I’ll have more to say about last Friday’s International Rules test match a bit later, but suffice to say, I feel a bit differently about it than this guy.

Yes, the hybrid of Australian Football and Gaelic Football — which could have been something interesting if it hadn’t degenerated into an on-the-pitch brawl every year — will be played in Perth tomorrow and in Melbourne next week, and the Irish team is already vowing to get physical with the Aussies. The Australian side, meanwhile, is saying it plans to tackle within the rules, but it’s damn near impossible to know what those rules are by now. This could just be Gaelic Football with marking and behind posts. It makes you wonder how many times the AFL and GAA can restart this party before people just get annoyed by it.

If you want to watch this spectacle in the US, it’ll be on Setanta Sports live early Friday morning, with a replay at 6:00 PM ET. Same goes for next weekend. Given the Premier League slate this weekend — most of the interesting games are on Sunday, thanks to the Champions League and European N.I.T. schedule — it might be worth saving for Saturday morning. Nothing like waking up to a little cartoon violence on Saturday, no?

I suppose you could say that these Melbourne Victory supporters got their wish, except there was no fire. The Telstra Dome in Melbourne is no longer the Telstra Dome. A new naming rights deal with UAE-based Etihad Airlines has made this building Etihad Stadium.

Come to think of it, all the stadium management has done is ruin a perfectly good protest chant. Bastards.

From the Who-thought-THIS-was-a-good-idea dept.:

RICHMOND is poised to share the same jumper sponsor as the world’s biggest sporting club, Manchester United.

The Tigers are set to announce a lucrative deal with global insurance and financial services giant AIG (American International Group). Richmond has signed a heads of agreement with the Australian arm of the American-based company. …

The arrangement was struck despite AIG being hit by the credit squeeze, requiring an $85 billion bailout by the US Government.

There it is, America. Your tax dollars are now paying for the logo of a failed investments company to be sewn into the jumper of an Aussie Rules team that hasn’t had a whiff of the AFL Finals Series since 2001. Hey, that’s a perfect match!

Here in the states, people who have never heard of Manchester United are yelling insults at guys Wayne Rooney jerseys solely because of that AIG logo. If you’re a Richmond supporter, I highly recommend you contact the club and tell them you won’t be buying any Tigers gear with AIG’s logo on it. That’s the last logo anyone anywhere wants to see right now.

UPDATE: AIG has pulled out of the deal.

Well, it was more fun to watch than last year’s Grand Final — unless, of course, you’re a Geelong supporter.

When Geelong and Hawthorn met back in July, the Hawks missed a few key scoring opportunities, and when too many shots at 6-point goals result in 1-point behinds, it’ll cost you. This time around, though, it was the Cats’ turn to be inaccurate. A long stretch in the 2nd quarter resulted in 11 consecutive behinds for Geelong, which gave the Hawks a 51-48 lead at halftime and the impetus to pull away in the 2nd half and notch a 115-89 victory in the 2008 AFL Grand Final.

Not that Hawthorn wasn’t happy to concede behinds all night. The Hawks seemed to have trouble pushing forward from their own goal square. Most of us watching at Woody’s in Raleigh blamed it on lack of motion an inaccurate kicking in the midfield. As a result, the Hawks spent a lot of time stepping behind their own posts for rushed behinds. As it turned out, that strategy stole Geelong’s rhythm and kept the game close until Hawthorn’s 6-goal outburst in the 3rd quarter. Hawthorn took the air out of the ball in the 4th to preserve the win.

Geelong did manage to take Buddy Franklin out of the game in the first half, but clearly, there was more to Hawthorn than Buddy. Hawthorn out-kicked, out-marked and out-tackled Geelong in the end, and once Franklin finally got himself open, he kicked two key goals in the 2nd half.

All in all, it was a fun night. Big thanks to the North Carolina Tigers for hosting the Grand Final party again this year. Judging from the scowls of the Geelong girls as they quietly walked out of the pub, though, I think I had more fun than they did.

Take a look at this catch by Morgan State wide receiver Edwin Baptiste…

In this instance, the quarterback was leading the receiver forward. The receiver got ahead of the defense, looked back for the ball and made that ridiculous play.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in an AFL match. In most cases, a potential receiver who gets away from his defender is always coming toward the ball, or the kicker boots it to a specific spot and lets players congregate underneath and fight for it. You never see anyone kick a ball with an eye on a receiver moving toward the goal.

I’m curious as to why that is. Is it because players running forward have a harder time taking a mark? Do players who run forward attract more defenders? Does the nature of the game convince coaches that you only have to move forward enough to get in goal-kicking range, thus allowing forwards the freedom to give up 10-15 meters if they’re still able to mark inside the 50? Perhaps some of you out there can explain that one to me.

In the meantime, coverage of the AFL Grand Final kicks off at 11:30 PM ET tonight on Setanta Sports. If you don’t have Setanta or can’t find a pub nearby that carries it, give AussieSport TV a try. Here’s hoping Hawthorn does what last year’s Port Adelaide Power couldn’t — make a game of it against Geelong.

Last year, Geelong utterly demolished the Port Adelaide Power in one of the most lopsided Grand Finals in Australian history. This year, it ought to be different. Hawthorn played Geelong really close a few weeks ago and might have won but for a few key missed shots at goal. If Buddy Franklin can avoid those bad misses this time around, it could very well go the other way.

Or is that wishful thinking? Seriously, nobody wants another blowout this year. We want our Grand Finals to go right down to the wire, like the Sydney v. West Coast battles in 2005 and 2006. After all, I’m going to be up until 3:00 in the morning at a Grand Final party in a bar in downtown Raleigh, and the last thing I need is a game that will put me right to sleep.

That’s on you, Hawks. Try to make a game of it this time, okay?