Dave’s Football Blog

The fiesta grande that is Super Bowl XLI is finally coming to a close today, and an army of DLP projector owners (especially the church battalion) will prepare themselves for a full evening of copyright violation. And drinking. And betting. Even in church. That’s the Super Bowl, people. It’s the biggest event in American sports. Jesus is watching you lose your money, and he can’t believe you took the Colts at -7 over the Bears. Seriously.

I still have some things to do this morning before I head out to the Rebel Base — i.e., the location of my annual Super Bowl party — so I’ll point you to Michael David Smith’s work at the FanHouse for now. He’s got everything from the weather report to the Wikipedia hijinks, plus a note from Ryan Leaf. Good stuff.

Stop by later this afternoon. I’ll have pictures of the giant sandwich and the reason why I call it the “Rebel Base…”

I’ve ended up with a lot of crap in my inbox in the last two weeks. In this post, I throw it all that and more at you for no apparent reason…

• If you ever wondered how Adam “Money” Vinatieri and Brian Urlacher rolled, click here and here.
• You know that guy Will Leitch? Yeah, that guy. Apparently, he’s a glogger now. Yes, I wrote “glogger.” Kind of sounds like something you do in a bukkake circle, doesn’t it?
• Speaking of bukkake, the KSK Gay Mafia has invited Troy McClure to make his Super Bowl pick. (BTW, their take on Brett Favre’s announcement that he’s coming back again is awesome.)
• This probably deserves its own post, but Steelers center Jeff Hartings is calling it a career. Sounds like Mike Tomlin has a new draft priority.
• This guy tries to compare the NFL to the Oscars. Except the Oscars are more like college football, what with all the outsiders voting for their favorites and such.
• Remember when Ray Buchanan got arrested before the Super Bowl? Apparently, he’s nostalgic for those days.
• Richard Dent scoffs at your pink wristband.
• Madden ‘07 picks the Colts. Tecmo Super Bowl picks the Bears. Y’know, when I did my Tecmo Super Bowl simulations a few years ago, I at least used the modified ROMs. Whoever did that Tecmo sim is a lazy bastard.
• Those veggie-murdering bastards at PETA would like you to watch their banned Super Bowl ads. Once you’re done with that, have another plate of chicken wings.
• It’s a Lightning War against Rex Grossman! Move Zig for Great Justice!
• Speaking of geeky shit, here are a few Super Bowl links from NewTeeVee.com.
• Want to see what the Super Bowl is really about? Just click here.
• By the way, no tailgating in Miami. Be a man and cough up the $20 for that hot dog

I would tell you more about my Super Bowl party tomorrow, but I don’t want to give away the location of the rebel base. There will be a bit of live commentary here on Sunday, though, so don’t forget to stop by.

Ordinary people aren’t like us crazy football fans. They just don’t get why we love this game so much. Our pal Ze? Yeah, he’s not a crazy football fan…

I’ll have more fun stuff this weekend on the road to Fiesta XLI, but if you really need more Super Bowl blogging goodness, just click here.

So Falls Creek Baptist Church in Indianapolis wanted to throw a Super Bowl party, featuring the big game projected on a 12-foot screen. Someone in the NFL offices saw the party advertised on the web and sent out the lawyers, who demanded that the party be canceled.

The NFL’s objection? First, it appeared to be that the church was charging a fee to come to the party, but once the pastor told the league he wouldn’t charge, the lawyers still objected…

Newland told the NFL his church would not charge partygoers — the fee had been intended only to pay for snacks — and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.

But the NFL wouldn’t bite. It objected to the church’s plans to use a projector to show the game on what effectively was a 12-foot-wide screen. It said the law limits the church to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.

Even the notoriously cranky Techdirt is jumping into the conversation about this…

While we, at first, doubted the reality of this, Ben Austro sent in the fact that it is, indeed, spelled out in copyright law that once you get above 55″, you may be talking about a “public performance,” though, as Ben notes, the wording sounds like it was clearly written by a lobbyist. No matter what the law states, this seems ridiculously short-sighted by the NFL. It’s hard to see how they lose out in any meaningful way by not allowing groups to watch the Super Bowl together. Of course, now that this particular quirk of copyright law is getting some attention, how long will it be until the MPAA starts cracking down on those of you with really big screen TVs from showing movies in your home theaters. What was a joke just a few months ago, may become real.

Does this mean my Fiesta XL last year was actually a copyright violation? My parents own a 56-inch HDTV…

(Spotted on NFL FanHouse.)

Hello, I’m Steve Jobs.

Y’know, the Super Bowl is a wonderful and magical event, but it just wouldn’t be quite as wonderful and magical if you couldn’t somehow incorporate a wonderful and magical device like the video iPod, or this new iPhone I’m holding, which has every fanboy on the planet wanting yet another taste of my ball sweat.

Well, now you can have all that magic come together in ways that Rex Grossman only wishes he could come. That’s right. As soon as the big game is over, Super Bowl highlights will be available from iTunes for only $1.99. Indeed, it’s the cheapest ass-ramming you’ll ever be able to enjoy over and over and over again.

I guarantee you’ll love it, or my name isn’t Chief Suckmeoff Steve Jobs.

Lots of teams like to play the disrespect card, even when they get plenty of respect and just feel the need to psyche themselves up for a big game. If Rex Grossman wants to play the disrespect card this week, though, he’s earned it.

Bears head coach (and Jerry Jones dream hire) Lovie Smith has fielded tons of questions this week regarding the possibility of benching Grossman for Brian Griese, and he’s pretty much sick of it.

For the most part, Smith was his usual gregarious self during his Super Bowl press conference. But when Smith was asked what he makes of the criticism of Grossman, he said, “I think the criticism is what it is, and I’ll take the next question.”

And that curt answer wasn’t all. When a reporter asked Smith whether he would consider benching Grossman for Brian Griese if Grossman plays badly early in the game, Smith said, “Does Peyton Manning get this question?”

Sure he does. In KSK Land.

Clearly, the press is really pushing it on us that Sexy Rexy the Sex Cannon(TM) may very well be OMG THE WORST EVAR!!!!! It’s as if the media is primed and ready to believe this horseshit and then get video of Grossman re-enacting this charming scene in real life.

Gee, ya think Sexy Rexy will have something to prove on Sunday? Want to know why I’m taking the Bears and the points this weekend? That’s why — that and the fact that Peyton Manning is sure to panic when he realizes Rexy’s a Florida Gator, and he never did beat the Gators, did he?

It’s one thing to be a hot chick who can use the Internet to make yourself a celebrity, but to be a hot chick who inadvertently flouts the FCC because you just happened to catch a Fox cameraman’s eye? Well, that’s different, isn’t it?

Meet Heather Rothstein. She showed up at a Saints game in a midriff-baring “Fuck Da Eagles” T-shirt and not much else. She got on camera. That earned her this photo shoot for Maxim. If I had showed up to a football game in a midriff-baring T-shirt, I probably would have gotten a beat-down. Must be nice to be a hot blonde with a nice rack.

Give Heather some credit, though. At least she hasn’t made any popular sports bloggers really, really pissed at her.

That’s what most people are asking today after news got out that Troy Polamalu legally changed his name today to… Troy Polamalu.

Apparently, his legal name before today was Troy Benjamin Aumua, but he chose to use his mother’s maiden name instead, as his parents divorced soon after he was born, and he lived with his mom. No word on what happened to dear old Dad — perhaps he had a little Belichick in him — but if he comes back around any time soon, it should be sufficiently awkward for all parties involved.

Yeah, I can see why any woman would sneak away from her husband for this dashing fellow, eh? I mean, look at him. He’s just so damn classy, isn’t he?

Says MJD:

Nothing says “classy” like Fed-Exing a married mother boxes of cash. I should point out, though, that nothing has been proven. Sharon Shenocca says they’re “just friends,” but if I could speak on behalf of the male gender for just one quick second … we don’t send anyone a box of cash unless we’re expecting some pleasurable friction in return. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way things go.

And I can’t imagine that the Patriots are thrilled with having the team’s official addressed used for these cash gifts. Not only does it drag the entire organization into what will probably be some very messy court proceedings, but it’s also a tremendous waste of office supplies. Come on, Bill, get your own stationery.

Looking to waste some cash on useless trinkets surrounding the big game? Check out Mighty MJD’s new Super Bowl Swag section over at the NFL FanHouse. MJD is digging through eBay, Craigslist and various online shops to find the best and worst — mostly the worst — gear for Bears fans, Colts fans and Super Bowl obsessives.

I actually know people who would wear a tie like the one pictured here. Scary, huh?

Speaking of AOL properties, I made an appearance yesterday on the briefly resurrected Sports Bloggers Live, which AOL pulled out of mothballs to cover the XLI wire-to-wire. If you don’t mind opening up Internet Explorer and thus opening up your computer to all manner of evil viruses and spyware, you can click here to listen. I warn you, though, that it was probably my worst appearance on SBL ever. I didn’t even get to share my Super Bowl XXXV party story. That was my first Super Bowl with a TiVo, and at one point, cameras caught Kerry Collins picking his nose, and I used the TiVo to capture that moment in slow motion instant replay. That got bigger laughs from my living room than any of the commercials, actually…