There’s a joke here about Wayne Rooney’s hair and a very unfortunate carpet burn, but I can’t quite find it. Instead, feel free to add your own uproarious caption in the comments.

(Spotted on Who Ate All the Pies)

I’m debating whether people will be talking more about this than the fact that he sang a Foo Fighters song. At least one blogger, though, thinks that “All Along The Watchtower”/”The Best of You” medley may have been an anti-war statement.

Of course, the full halftime show is already on YouTube: Part 1, Part 2.

I see you, Courtney Love, and you can kiss my purple ass!

UPDATE (2/7): It just occurred to me… Didn’t the Foo Fighters cover “Darling Nikki” a few years ago? That must be why Prince covered them in this show. Dave Grohl probably inadvertently helped pay for Prince’s settlement with Carlos Boozer…

Seriously, though, Tony Dungy and Peyton Manning got the monkeys off their back. Those monkeys can go back to doing Bud Light commercials. Manning will do the rest of the commercials. Hopefully, those ads won’t be as lame as the majority of the ads shown during this game…

Albert was going to rewind the DVR and show some latecomers the Prince concert, but he accidently changed the channel, so we lost the entire queue. Albert said, “Sorry, dude, I pulled a Rex Grossman.” At least we get to see the trophy presentation in the pouring rain…

Don Shula brought the trophy to the winners stage. The Colts players touched the trophy all the way through Shula’s walk to the stage. He had this look on his face that said, “Yeah, keep touching. You fuckers should never have left Baltimore.” Meanwhile, Tony Dungy was the first to thank God, and Peyton Manning was named MVP and gets the ticket-me red Cadillac. He has the biggest shit-eating grin, too. On the bright side, he’s actually crediting his team and not throwing anyone under the bus.

Meanwhile, Edgerrin James and Mike Vanderjagt are slitting their wrists in the bathtub right now…

And that’s that. Another glorious season of NFL football is in the books. The party in Indiana will last through the start of training camp. Should be fun times up there. Time to pack up the sandwich remainders and depart the Rebel Base. The lawyers didn’t stop us, either. Take that, Goodell!

Peyton Manning? 25 for 38, 247 yards, 1 TD, 1 INT.

Joseph Addai? 19 carries for 77 yards, 10 catches for 66 yards.

Dominic Rhodes? 19 carries, 112 yards, 1 TD.

My vote right now is for Rhodes.

NFL Network may have showed the best commercial of the night — all manner of team fans looking somber at the end of the season, followed by a caption, “It’s so hard to say goodbye.” Then they showed Brett Favre tossing a ball around. “For some, it’s even harder.” I laughed my ass off at that one…

Someone asked, “What are those white things on the field?” They were towels. Albert declared they were Rex Grossman’s panties. Someone else replied that he threw them at Prince during halftime, but Prince threw them back. Sounds like Chicago, doesn’t it?

TOTAL YARDS: Colts 393, Bears 153.

Ouch.

The Colts now lead 29-17. Jim Nantz informs us that no Super Bowl team has come back from a deficit of more than 10. There’s a lot of fretting in the Second City right now…

The Jay-Z/Don Shula ad? I really like the concept, but I’m not sure about the delivery. I may need to look at that one again…

That’s the one on the right, by the way.

Peyton Manning is doing a decent job after his shaky early start. Rex Grossman hasn’t impressed me, but neither has much of the Bears’ offense. Take away his big 52-yard run, and Thomas Jones only has 26 yards on 10 carries. That’s not gonna get it done…

The amount of hate for Prince’s halftime show in the FanHouse comments is staggering. Get over yourselves, people.

The Bears time of possession? 12:07. The Colts? 27:30. And counting.

Joseph Addai is making a case for MVP at this point with almost 130 yards on 27 touches. (16 carries, 10 receptions.) If the Colts win, it’ll come down to Addai, Peyton Manning, or Adam Vinatieri, who just kicked another field goal. He’s 3 for 4 so far today. The Colts now lead, 22-14.

“Dwayne Wade… Is this your dad?” Nice.

Of course, the curtain shot during “Purple Rain” — an entirely appropriate song, given the downpour he played in — was the money shot. You’ll see that picture all over the Internet tomorrow. I couldn’t get a good shot of it, though, but I’ll try to post it here later.

3rd quarter is starting. Time for some chili…

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a halftime show to enjoy. This requires more drink…

Some of these ads are a little rough. A robot committing suicide? A bunch of thug diseases beating the shit out of a guy in a heart suit? Nearly all of these commercials are just taking it one step too far. I’m sure a lot of people like that, but this room isn’t feelin’ it right now…

Oh, yeah, Adam Vinatieri got a field goal. The Colts now trail the Bears, 14-9.

Then, when CBS showed a photo of Cedric Benson while trainers were attending to him, we started singing, “Come along and ride on a Fantastic Voyage!” And we haven’t stopped.

Peyton Manning and the Colts O-line both look shaky out there early, while the Sex Cannon is firing on all cylinders, slinging bombs down the field like there’s no tomorrow. Thomas Jones has the big play so far, though.

As for the commercials, Bud Light’s doing okay, and GoDaddy grabbed all the guys attention again. (Kevin Rose got half a second of XLI airtime. Congrats.) For the most part, though, I’m not so impressed…

Of course, Manning made up for it with a 53-yard touchdown pass to a wide open Reggie Wayne. Then Hunter Smith pulled a Tony Romo on the extra point and bobbled the snap. Just in case the 1080i picture didn’t make it clear that it was raining…

Bears lead 7-6. The FedEx moon office commercial took the lead.

Oh, and now we’ve had two fumbles and two turnovers — one on the kickoff that the Colts recovered, then one on a botched handoff to Joseph Addai that the Bears recovered. Then Thomas Jones ripped off a 53-yard run that set up a Rex Grossman TD pass to Muhsin Muhammad. Yeah, that Rex Grossman is just THE WORST EVAR!!!!

So, Bears lead 14-6. Time for more commercials. And more rain…

Thankfully for Chicago fans, the Bears didn’t jump all over Hester like the Buckeyes did on Ted Ginn Jr. Hester’s still in it, and Chicago’s up early, 7-0.

That little spinny thing CBS did for player intros? That’ll be in Madden 08. Just watch…

Here inside the Rebel Base, we fart in the general direction of your copyright laws. We will watch this game using a DLP projection blasting a 100-inch 1080i image on the wall, and there is nothing you can do to stop us. Nothing.

So fuck you and your lawyers. This is our Super Bowl party, and we’re going to party our way. Bitches.

Right now, though, we’re watching the Duke-Florida State basketball game, because we’re in North Carolina, and that’s what we do in February in North Carolina. Watch basketball. The other option is two hours of pre-game crapola, and quite honestly, I’ve had enough of pre-game crapola. An actual game — any actual game — is more interesting. Manchester United at Tottenham Hotspur was more interesting than nearly all the pre-game crapola.

So let’s get the spectacle started already, eh?

I still have some things to do this morning before I head out to the Rebel Base — i.e., the location of my annual Super Bowl party — so I’ll point you to Michael David Smith’s work at the FanHouse for now. He’s got everything from the weather report to the Wikipedia hijinks, plus a note from Ryan Leaf. Good stuff.

Stop by later this afternoon. I’ll have pictures of the giant sandwich and the reason why I call it the “Rebel Base…”

• If you ever wondered how Adam “Money” Vinatieri and Brian Urlacher rolled, click here and here.
• You know that guy Will Leitch? Yeah, that guy. Apparently, he’s a glogger now. Yes, I wrote “glogger.” Kind of sounds like something you do in a bukkake circle, doesn’t it?
• Speaking of bukkake, the KSK Gay Mafia has invited Troy McClure to make his Super Bowl pick. (BTW, their take on Brett Favre’s announcement that he’s coming back again is awesome.)
• This probably deserves its own post, but Steelers center Jeff Hartings is calling it a career. Sounds like Mike Tomlin has a new draft priority.
• This guy tries to compare the NFL to the Oscars. Except the Oscars are more like college football, what with all the outsiders voting for their favorites and such.
• Remember when Ray Buchanan got arrested before the Super Bowl? Apparently, he’s nostalgic for those days.
• Richard Dent scoffs at your pink wristband.
• Madden ’07 picks the Colts. Tecmo Super Bowl picks the Bears. Y’know, when I did my Tecmo Super Bowl simulations a few years ago, I at least used the modified ROMs. Whoever did that Tecmo sim is a lazy bastard.
• Those veggie-murdering bastards at PETA would like you to watch their banned Super Bowl ads. Once you’re done with that, have another plate of chicken wings.
• It’s a Lightning War against Rex Grossman! Move Zig for Great Justice!
• Speaking of geeky shit, here are a few Super Bowl links from NewTeeVee.com.
• Want to see what the Super Bowl is really about? Just click here.
• By the way, no tailgating in Miami. Be a man and cough up the $20 for that hot dog

I would tell you more about my Super Bowl party tomorrow, but I don’t want to give away the location of the rebel base. There will be a bit of live commentary here on Sunday, though, so don’t forget to stop by.

I’ll have more fun stuff this weekend on the road to Fiesta XLI, but if you really need more Super Bowl blogging goodness, just click here.

The NFL’s objection? First, it appeared to be that the church was charging a fee to come to the party, but once the pastor told the league he wouldn’t charge, the lawyers still objected…

Newland told the NFL his church would not charge partygoers — the fee had been intended only to pay for snacks — and that it would drop the use of the forbidden words.

But the NFL wouldn’t bite. It objected to the church’s plans to use a projector to show the game on what effectively was a 12-foot-wide screen. It said the law limits the church to one TV no bigger than 55 inches.

Even the notoriously cranky Techdirt is jumping into the conversation about this…

While we, at first, doubted the reality of this, Ben Austro sent in the fact that it is, indeed, spelled out in copyright law that once you get above 55″, you may be talking about a “public performance,” though, as Ben notes, the wording sounds like it was clearly written by a lobbyist. No matter what the law states, this seems ridiculously short-sighted by the NFL. It’s hard to see how they lose out in any meaningful way by not allowing groups to watch the Super Bowl together. Of course, now that this particular quirk of copyright law is getting some attention, how long will it be until the MPAA starts cracking down on those of you with really big screen TVs from showing movies in your home theaters. What was a joke just a few months ago, may become real.

Does this mean my Fiesta XL last year was actually a copyright violation? My parents own a 56-inch HDTV…

(Spotted on NFL FanHouse.)

Y’know, the Super Bowl is a wonderful and magical event, but it just wouldn’t be quite as wonderful and magical if you couldn’t somehow incorporate a wonderful and magical device like the video iPod, or this new iPhone I’m holding, which has every fanboy on the planet wanting yet another taste of my ball sweat.

Well, now you can have all that magic come together in ways that Rex Grossman only wishes he could come. That’s right. As soon as the big game is over, Super Bowl highlights will be available from iTunes for only $1.99. Indeed, it’s the cheapest ass-ramming you’ll ever be able to enjoy over and over and over again.

I guarantee you’ll love it, or my name isn’t Chief Suckmeoff Steve Jobs.

Lots of teams like to play the disrespect card, even when they get plenty of respect and just feel the need to psyche themselves up for a big game. If Rex Grossman wants to play the disrespect card this week, though, he’s earned it.

Bears head coach (and Jerry Jones dream hire) Lovie Smith has fielded tons of questions this week regarding the possibility of benching Grossman for Brian Griese, and he’s pretty much sick of it.

For the most part, Smith was his usual gregarious self during his Super Bowl press conference. But when Smith was asked what he makes of the criticism of Grossman, he said, “I think the criticism is what it is, and I’ll take the next question.”

And that curt answer wasn’t all. When a reporter asked Smith whether he would consider benching Grossman for Brian Griese if Grossman plays badly early in the game, Smith said, “Does Peyton Manning get this question?”

Sure he does. In KSK Land.

Clearly, the press is really pushing it on us that Sexy Rexy the Sex Cannon(TM) may very well be OMG THE WORST EVAR!!!!! It’s as if the media is primed and ready to believe this horseshit and then get video of Grossman re-enacting this charming scene in real life.

Gee, ya think Sexy Rexy will have something to prove on Sunday? Want to know why I’m taking the Bears and the points this weekend? That’s why — that and the fact that Peyton Manning is sure to panic when he realizes Rexy’s a Florida Gator, and he never did beat the Gators, did he?

Meet Heather Rothstein. She showed up at a Saints game in a midriff-baring “Fuck Da Eagles” T-shirt and not much else. She got on camera. That earned her this photo shoot for Maxim. If I had showed up to a football game in a midriff-baring T-shirt, I probably would have gotten a beat-down. Must be nice to be a hot blonde with a nice rack.

Give Heather some credit, though. At least she hasn’t made any popular sports bloggers really, really pissed at her.

That’s what most people are asking today after news got out that Troy Polamalu legally changed his name today to… Troy Polamalu.

Apparently, his legal name before today was Troy Benjamin Aumua, but he chose to use his mother’s maiden name instead, as his parents divorced soon after he was born, and he lived with his mom. No word on what happened to dear old Dad — perhaps he had a little Belichick in him — but if he comes back around any time soon, it should be sufficiently awkward for all parties involved.

Says MJD:

Nothing says “classy” like Fed-Exing a married mother boxes of cash. I should point out, though, that nothing has been proven. Sharon Shenocca says they’re “just friends,” but if I could speak on behalf of the male gender for just one quick second … we don’t send anyone a box of cash unless we’re expecting some pleasurable friction in return. I’m sorry, but that’s just the way things go.

And I can’t imagine that the Patriots are thrilled with having the team’s official addressed used for these cash gifts. Not only does it drag the entire organization into what will probably be some very messy court proceedings, but it’s also a tremendous waste of office supplies. Come on, Bill, get your own stationery.

I actually know people who would wear a tie like the one pictured here. Scary, huh?

Speaking of AOL properties, I made an appearance yesterday on the briefly resurrected Sports Bloggers Live, which AOL pulled out of mothballs to cover the XLI wire-to-wire. If you don’t mind opening up Internet Explorer and thus opening up your computer to all manner of evil viruses and spyware, you can click here to listen. I warn you, though, that it was probably my worst appearance on SBL ever. I didn’t even get to share my Super Bowl XXXV party story. That was my first Super Bowl with a TiVo, and at one point, cameras caught Kerry Collins picking his nose, and I used the TiVo to capture that moment in slow motion instant replay. That got bigger laughs from my living room than any of the commercials, actually…