Does anyone else think the timing of Jason Akermanis’ latest controversial missive is just a little bit curious?
In case you missed it yesterday, Australia’s favorite troglodyte wrote this column for the Herald Sun, in which he suggested that homosexual AFL footballers should “stay in the closet,” because not only would the media firestorm be too much for any player to handle, but… well, gay people make him uncomfortable in the locker room. That’s what it boils down to, really.
This column has been met with near universal scorn from other columnists. Even AFL boss Andrew Demetriou is attempting to distance the league from Aker’s opinions, which he pretty much has to do. It’s 2010, and conversations about gay people focus too much on the “gay” and not the “people.” These are human beings with the same feelings, dreams and regrets as the rest of us, and we as a society of humans should be enlightened enough to recognize that. (Go watch a few episodes of Caprica to see how such a society can accept the existence of homosexuality without any problems. It’s actually quite interesting how the show’s writers handled this topic.)
That said, there is a small kernel of truth to what Aker wrote here, because football locker rooms are not exactly bastions of enlightenment. They’re rooms mostly full of dumb macho jocks who assume that any man who’s gay must want to touch their junk and try to convert them. That perception alone would make it that much harder for a gay AFL player to come out of the closet. Not only will the media spotlight indeed be blinding, but just about every other footballer would casually toss anti-gay slurs at that player until it practically chased him out of the league. It shouldn’t happen, but more than likely it would.
Still, why has this suddenly become a topic now? Why is Aker putting himself up for such scorn? Is he trying to distract people from the early-season offensive struggles of his Western Bulldogs, or putting his own publicity ahead of Friday’s huge #1 v. #2 clash between Collingwood and Geeling? (Which, by the way, will be available ESPN3.com after it airs live at 5:00 AM ET on Friday, and which you should watch, because it has all the makings of a barnburner.)
Honestly, I think Aker’s taking one for the league. He’s throwing a new issue out there to distract people from the larger, more problematic one — the AFL’s drug problem. Nobody’s talking about the 14 guys who got popped for using cocaine anymore. They’re talking about Aker’s discomfort with homosexuals.
You could almost imagine a conversation between Aker and Demetriou leading up to this:
Demetriou: “Listen, Aker, we need to get people to stop talking about footy players and cocaine for a bit. Can you come up with a column that changes the subject?”
Akermanis: “S’pose I could. How about something about getting the Socceroos to build new stadiums for 2018 and not use ours?”
Demetriou: “Nah, too close the World Cup. They’ll all side with Socceroos right now.”
Akermanis: “Alright… I could take a pot shot at poofs.”
Demetriou: “Perfect! Give it a go, mate. I’ll put a little extra in your column fee this week for that.”
Akermanis: “No prob. Want me to write the disclaimer for the league, too?”
Demetriou: “Nah, that’s why I hired the secretary… well, one of three reasons, if you get me. Heh heh.”
And now, everyone’s so busy getting on their high horse that they aren’t talking about all the players that might be riding the white horse. That’s really the only explanation for the timing of this column. I’d encourage all my fellow footy fans not to fall for this okey-doke. Recreational drugs are going to be a much bigger problem for the AFL and its image in the long run.
