Dave’s Football Blog

So I went to my annual office fantasy league draft last night, which always lasts about an hour and a half longer than it should, because everyone 1.) forgets when it’s their turn and 2.) inevitably tries to pick players who are either out for half the season or already off the board. One of the owners moved away and couldn’t attend via chat, and her team was being selected off an ESPN list by the commissioner.

End result: half her team consists of players from the AFC North.

In case you missed it, teams in the AFC North play everyone in both the AFC South and NFC East this year. Six of those eight teams made the playoffs last year.

What’s more, AFC North teams appear to be in severe disarray. The Baltimore Ravens still don’t know who their quarterback is, and their defensive stars aren’t getting any younger. The Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line looks even worse than last year, and they’re stuck with a 2nd-round receiver who can’t catch. The Cincinnati Bengals are as big a mess as ever, what with their broken-nosed quarterback, their injured and oblivious star wideout, and their increasingly frustrated fan base. The Cleveland Browns might actually be (*cough*) the best of this lot, but they have a sketchy secondary, and their QBs aren’t exactly lighting it up.

8-8 is going to win this division, folks. These are all teams with big glaring weaknesses going up against two of the toughest divisions in the NFL. This does not bode well for any of them.

Perhaps this doesn’t matter so much in fantasy football. Perhaps guys like Braylon Edwards and Willie Parker and Willis Mcgahee will still get their touchdowns and have their big games more often than not. Still, when it’s obvious that these teams are going to have horrible seasons, do you really want to start chasing after their players?

(Of course, feel free to take that advise with a grain of salt. I took Jake Delhomme in the 12th round when Matt Schaub was still on the board. I’m such a homer…)

The boys at Ars Technica show us a new ancillary business -- selling correctly-named rosters for college football video games. Last I checked, updated Tecmo Super Bowl rosters are still free.

We’ve got to get Clint Dempsey the hell out of Fulham.

Soccer By Ives noted today that Dempsey is the last American soccer player left at Craven Cottage. Brian McBride and Kasey Keller returned to the rest home for star players that is MLS, Carlos Bocanegra was released and signed with French club Rennes, and Eddie Johnson was just sent on a season-long loan to Cardiff City, who would probably rather have Kenny Cooper right about now.

That leaves Deuce as the last American standing at Fulham, and he’s stuck there with a manager that clearly doesn’t think too highly of him. As soon as that stodgy old fart Roy Hodgson showed up at Craven Cottage, he seemed to have it in for Dempsey, who just happened to be Fulham’s leading scorer at the time. Now Deuce has scored a grand total of two goals in 2008 — both against Barbados, a national team that would struggle against Ebbsfleet United — and the lack of playing time under Hodgson has clearly hurt his form in international play. He looked ineffective in the WCQ against Guatemala and was pulled from the game after a hour or so.

It makes you wonder why Dempsey signed a new deal with Fulham back in May. Fulham sure doesn’t seem all that committed to him — especially now that Hodgson has all but killed the “Fulhamerica” concept. If I were Deuce, I’d rather be hanging out with Freddy Adu in Monaco right about now. Can we make that happen? The transfer window isn’t closed yet. Hell, even moving to Hull City might be better for his career at this stage. Anything to get him away from Hodgson. He’s not going to advance if he sticks around Craven Cottage for too much longer.

Over at Deadspin, Don Spagnolo of Mondesi's House asks and answers 20 questions we might have about the Pittsburgh Steelers. The schedule still scares me, but I'm keeping the faith, as always.

Over at Pitch Invasion, Richard Whittall takes a closer look at how where we live influences how we view the Premier League and other European leagues.

… in the late 19th and early 20th century … The three o’clock kickoff was meant to accommodate the Saturday half-day. Workers exhausted from a week of toil in the ’satanic mills’ of industry were more than happy to be “Lords of the Earth”, as J.B. Priestly once wrote, for a couple of hours at the football ground.

Today, with the advent of satellite television able to provide instant live coverage around the globe, viewers are able to watch live matches five or six timezones away. The ‘three o’clock’ kickoff is a moveable feast, and European football’s unique popularity means many have fans grown up watching Serie A, the Bundelsiga or the Premier league at odd times of the day. Afternoon games are enjoyed in the Middle East over supper, in North America at the crack of dawn, in Australasia in the late evening. These time differences can have a subtle but intriguing effect on how local audiences enjoy the game.

It’s funny how quickly I’ve come to accept soccer as a new Saturday morning ritual, just like cartoons were for me 30 years ago. Wayne Rooney and Michael Ballack are the new Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck. Imagine that.

September 27, 2007: “It was the wrong decision, and I think anybody that knows anything about the game knows that. There’s no doubt in my mind I would have made those saves. And the fact of the matter is it’s not 2004 anymore. … It’s 2007, and I think you have to live in the present. And you can’t live by big names. You can’t live in the past. It doesn’t matter what somebody did in an Olympic gold medal game in the Olympics three years ago. Now is what matters, and that’s what I think.”

August 21, 2008: “Hi, Greg. It’s Hope. You just watched me shut out Brazil for 120 minutes and win a gold medal, right? Good. Just making sure. Oh, by the way, kiss my ass. Bye!”

Former Oakland Raider and NFL Players Association chief Gene Upshaw has died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 63. In other news, Mike Ditka was last seen buying drinks for anyone in his general vicinity.

Gene Upshaw never did mind being hated. Hell, he was an Oakland Raider. He welcomed the hate. He took pride in the notion that he and his teammates were the bullies on the block who would do anything to win. As head of the NFL Players Association, though, that same attitude didn’t serve him so well. He took millions in salary while fighting with retired players over meager benefits packages, and he had no qualms with threatening newspapers like he threatened defenders back in the day.

Despite the growing divisions in the union over his leadership, however, Upshaw has managed to keep labor peace in the NFL for the last two decades. Some would say he did that by giving too much to the owners. In particular, Bryant Gumbel called Upshaw “the league’s biggest embarrassment” and claimed he was always on Paul Tagliabue’s leash. It was enough to make you wonder if Upshaw just didn’t know which battles to pick anymore.

So what does this mean for the NFLPA now that he’s gone? Will retired players start getting better benefits under new leadership? Is the salary cap toast? Will the labor strife we haven’t seen in the NFL for a while rear its ugly head? Now that Upshaw is gone, we’re going to see a fight for control of this union, and if that happens, things could get even uglier than they ever were.

By the way, let’s hope the next NFLPA boss will know what the Miami Project is. Given the higher risk of spinal cord injuries in the gridiron game than any other form of football, that seems kind of important.

In case you missed it last night, the USA beat Guatemala 1-0 in its first CONCACAF 2010 World Cup Qualifier. It was the national team’s first WCQ win in Guatemala in its history. And they took one hell of a beating in the process.

I’ve been looking around the webternets this morning for a photo that captured Gustavo Cabrera’s attempted beheading of Eddie Lewis, which was pointless violence worthy of an International Rules match. All I’ve managed to find so far is Soccer By Ives’ post-game photo of Lewis with his stitches. That the attack happened just two minutes after Steve Cherundolo was sent off for a second yellow card, leaving the USA a man down, made it even more pointless. After that, it was 10-on-10, and even then, the Guatemalans hacked away at American players like they wanted blood more than victory. Why is that?

Maybe this has something to do with it:

[In the 1950s, Guatemala president Jacobo] Arbenz proceeded to nationalize and redistribute un-utilized land owned by the United Fruit Company, which had a practical monopoly on Guatemalan fruit production and some industry. In response, United Fruit lobbied the Eisenhower administration to remove Arbenz. Of still greater importance, though, was the widespread American concern about the possibility of a so-called “Soviet beachhead” opening up in the Western Hemisphere. Arbenz’s sudden legalization of the Communist party and importing of arms from then Soviet-satellite state of Czechoslovakia, among other events, convinced major policy makers in the White House and CIA to try for Arbenz’s forced removal, although his term was to end naturally in two years. This led to a CIA-orchestrated coup in 1954, known as Operation PBSUCCESS, which saw Arbenz toppled and forced into exile by Colonel Carlos Castillo Armas. Despite most Guatemalans’ attachment to the original ideals of the 1944 uprising, some private sector leaders and the military began to believe that Arbenz represented a Communist threat and supported his overthrow, hoping that a successor government would continue the more moderate reforms started by Arevalo. After the CIA coup, hundreds of Guatemalans were rounded up and killed.

Bananas and McCarthyism convinced the USA to overthrow a democratic government, which led to hundreds of deaths and plunged an entire nation into civil war. It also coined the term “Banana Republic.” So yeah, Guatemala might have some reason to be a little bitter.

We try to separate sport and politics, but history like this will always color international football matches. Witness the Germany v. Poland match at EURO 2008, which proved to be more civil on the pitch than off. How much do you want to bet that FIFA will do everything it can to prevent the USA and Iraq from being drawn into the same group at the Confederations Cup next summer?

I got back from Las Vegas on Sunday night just before midnight, unpacked my bags, collapsed on my sofa around 1:00 AM, and didn’t wake up until about 10:30 or so.

Yes, it was that awesome a weekend — hanging out with the fun folks at the New Media Expo, watching the water show at the Bellagio, lounging out to Richard Cheese, getting propositioned by the hookers at the Hilton, sampling everything at the buffets, winning a poker tournament at the Mirage, losing a Premier League parlay (bloody Tottenham), partying on Fremont Street, watching from the Stratosphere Tower as the city lit up at sundown…

It was a grand adventure — until the jet lag hit me like a Martin Taylor tackle on Monday. I would lie down for a few minutes, lose an entire half-hour of my day, then get dizzy just by shifting to sit upright. Even two days later, I’m still shaking off the last vestiges of this. I wonder if this is how Merrill Hoge feels sometimes on the set of NFL Matchup…

Anyway, in a half-assed attempt to catch up, I’m going to throw some stories out there that I figure are worth mentioning here. I’m sure I’ve missed more than this. I’ll worry about that later.

• Jeremy Wilson of the Telegraph serves up this interesting piece on how the credit crunch is about to impact English football. As if Leeds United wasn’t enough of a warning to clubs borrowing on future success.
• Meanwhile, Deuce of Davenport shows us some non-league football supporters in England telling their goalie what they really think of him. Quality.
• Here’s one I missed completely — Chelsea chief exec Peter Kenyon told non-Big Four clubs to get their houses in order. From now on, he will be referred to here as “Marie Antoinette.”
• Dude, how ’bout that Hull City? How can you not cheer for that club?
• A musical about David Beckham’s career. That should cement his status as a gay icon. Hell, he might yet dethrone Cristiano Ronaldo.
• Maurice Edu is headed to Rangers. He’ll have to wade through a season of Scottish football to play in Europe, but it would have taken him just as long to make the CONCACAF Champions League with Toronto FC, anyway. Still, the timing of this move puzzles me. Is Scotland really that much better than MLS? And why Rangers, a club that doesn’t play anything close to attractive football? Of course, maybe that’s why they got Edu in the first place.
• Speaking of Yanks abroad, Cardiff City was unable to pull Kenny Cooper out of Dallas and now wants to lure Eddie Johnson away from Fulham, which shouldn’t be too hard. Plus, if you want to watch Jozy Altidore in La Liga this season, you’ll have to get DirecTV. I think it’s time for me to make the switch…
• It was always going to be just the U.S. women to win a medal in Olympic soccer, wasn’t it? The gold medal match between the USA and Brazil kicks off at 9:00 AM tomorrow. The Argentina v. Nigeria men’s soccer final, should be fun to watch. That starts at 12:00 A.M. ET on Saturday morning, so you’ll have to stay up late to see it live.
• Meanwhile, south of China, the A-League season started with a brawl between Sydney FC supporters and Melbourne Victory supporters. It looked slightly worse than the handbags between West Ham and Columbus Crew fans. Maybe.
• Speaking of Australia, Geelong has once again clinched the top seed in the AFL Finals Series, while Collingwood appears to be one drink away from falling out of the Top 8, and the credit crunch is pimpslapping the Pies, too.
• Two years removed from their Grand Final victory, the West Coast Eagles are getting a priority draft pick, and everyone’s all upset about it.
• Here’s your roster for the US Revolution footy team, which will be playing in the AFL International Cup, which begins in a week in Melbourne.
• Pittsburgh Steelers safety Ryan Clark played the race card when a local writer described Anthony Smith’s behavior as “thuggery.” Uh, no, we use that word on anyone who beats up teammates in practice for no apparent reason. Joey Barton is also a thug. (Steve Smith is, too, but at least he’s our thug…)
• Speaking of the Panthers, those offseason acquisitions aren’t looking so hot for them right now, save for Jeff Otah.
• Whatever you do, NFL coaches, keep Kenny Chesney away from your locker rooms.
• Remember that upstart league that Mark Cuban a bunch of other guys planned to launch? Apparently, they’re waiting for Senor Mexico to get out of jail first. Classy.
• Brett Favre is not God, and this is why.
• Whatever you do, don’t try to take Warren Sapp’s picture without his permission. Seriously.

Okay, that’s enough for now. I’ll be more focused in another 24 hours, when I’ve fully gotten over walking out of the Mirage with a chain wallet full of Benjamins and blending into the blissfully unaware crowd as I nonchalantly sauntered back to my hotel room. And I’m not even sure that was my favorite moment of the weekend.

Okay, I admit it. I was too lazy to write any previews for the new Premier League season. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve a good primer to the start of the campaign.

So in lieu of a real hard-hitting, in-depth preview this year, I’m just going to give you my predictions for the final table this year and link to the in-depth previews provided by other sites — specifically, The Guardian and EPL Talk. For the money I make from this blog, that’s good enough…

1. Chelsea (EPL Talk, Guardian)
2. Manchester United (EPL Talk, Guardian)
3. Liverpool (EPL Talk, Guardian)
4. Arsenal (EPL Talk, Guardian)
5. Tottenham Hotspur (EPL Talk, Guardian)
6. Aston Villa (EPL Talk, Guardian)
7. Portsmouth (EPL Talk, Guardian)
8. Newcastle (EPL Talk, Guardian)
9. Everton (EPL Talk, Guardian)
10. Manchester City (EPL Talk, Guardian)
11. West Ham (EPL Talk, Guardian)
12. Sunderland (EPL Talk, Guardian)
13. Blackburn Rovers (EPL Talk, Guardian)
14. Middlesbrough (EPL Talk, Guardian)
15. Wigan (EPL Talk, Guardian)
16. Fulham (EPL Talk, Guardian)
17. West Bromwich Albion (EPL Talk, Guardian)
18. Bolton Wanderers (EPL Talk, Guardian)
19. Hull City (EPL Talk, Guardian)
20. Stoke City (EPL Talk, Guardian)

A few random thoughts:

Keep an eye on the Gunners-Spurs rivalry this year. I liked what Juande Ramos is doing with Tottenham, and he’s got the best shot of anyone at finally breaking through the Big Four’s stranglehold on the Champions League. Unfortunately, it’ll only happen if injuries thin out Arsenal’s squad over the long term. If Cesc Fabregas struggles to get fit, though, Arsenal might be in a little trouble.

Liverpool, on the other hand will be better in league play, thanks to Robbie Keane’s new partnership with Fernando Torres, but this is not the year they finally end the league title drought. They’re just not deep enough, and neither are Everton and Blackburn, whom I expect to fall out of UEFA Cup contention this year. If I were David Moyes, I’d pull a Rafa and pin it all on this year’s cup competitions. That might be the Toffees’ best shot at glory.

Finally, no, I don’t believe in Gary Megson, and neither should you.