As we get closer to the start of several different football seasons — and the end of another — it’s nice to know that we can find some consistency from one season to the next.
The NFL preseason is still a horrific bore.
Harry Redknapp is still the master of the of the ugly 0-0 draw.
Manchester United still need Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo.
Reading still can’t score a damn goal.
Peter Nowak-coached teams still put themselves in bad positions needlessly.
Carolina Railhawks manager Scott Schweitzer still has no bloody clue who his best 11 players are.
The Geelong Cats still own the rest of the AFL. (And the Melbourne Demons still suck.)
South Africa’s rugby union team is still pretty good.
Any Cleveland Brown who has an open wound is still at heavy risk for a staph infection.
Ronaldo is still a fat bastard.
So take comfort, football lovers. The new season is upon us, and all those old tropes we love to lean on so much aren’t going away any time soon. (Though I sure wish Schweitzer would…)
