Dave’s Football Blog

Shocking, shocking news comes out of Australia tonight — or, if you live there, “tomorrow.” It seems American football is far from the only football code where the coaches dabble in espionage.

The AFL season is two weeks away but already Melbourne clubs are at each other’s throats — over training spies.

The issue of scouting espionage has become so heated it is likely to erupt at next week’s coaches’ meeting. Clubs have ejected rival scouts from closed training sessions in recent weeks, with Hawthorn coach Alastair Clarkson involved in heated exchanges.

Melbourne plays Hawthorn in Round 1 and new Demons scout David Dunbar has repeatedly been ejected from Waverley Park, the third time disguised as a worker in the adjoining construction zone.

Clarkson was tipped to the covert action when he realized that construction workers usually don’t carry video cameras on their shoulders while working.

I suppose this is something that all those braying chowderheads that call themselves New England Patriots fans can point to and say, “See? We’re not the only football team in the world that spies on other teams! Look at those facking Melbourne Demons! Yeah! If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying!”

Yes, you had to travel to the other side of the world to find another football club engaging in covert ops — and dumb enough to get caught. Congratulations. Now go make yourself useful and hunt down that Tom-and-Gisele sex tape or something.