On Sunday, I watched a little bit of the A-League Grand Final between the Central Coast Mariners and the Newcastle Jets. At one point, I was expecting an International Rules match to break out. There weren’t that many handbags in New York during Fashion Week — and honestly, it was the only reason to keep watching. The football was dreadful, but at any moment, anyone could have hauled off and become the Australian Kermit Washington.

Alas, all we got was Mariners goalkeeper Danny Vukovic smacking at a referee’s arm after arguing about a handball penalty that wasn’t called late in the match. Vukovic did what most Central Coast supporters wanted to do — leave early. Newcastle won, 1-0, and held up that shiny toilet bowl seat in celebration.

You can wear the trophy around your neck and be the life of the party. That’s just adorable — almost as adorable as Mariners players dressing up in blackface and Nazi gear the next day. Ben Cousins was seen at the part asking what they were on and where he could score some of it.

That reminds me — isn’t footy season starting soon?

(Video spotted on Soccer By Ives.)