Apr 27 2007
North Perth Forty: Heeeeeere’s Benny!
Good citizens of Perth, lock up your Sudafed! Ben Cousins is out of rehab and coming home!
Cousins was expected to spend all of April and May at the luxurious Summit Centre, secluded somewhere in the Malibu hills. (Thanks, Wikipedia!) However, his rehab reportedly went so well that he’s returning to Australia this month. That’s the official explanation, anyway. He may have engineered a great escape that would make Steve McQueen proud.
Speaking of great escapes, Cousins appears to have escaped punishment from the AFL. (In other news, Pacman Jones called his travel agent and asked about airfare to Australia.) However, his return to the West Coast Eagles is still in question. Head coach John “Woosha” Worsfold lashed out at the AFL this week for its drug testing leaks — security for the AFL is provided by TJX, apparently — but stopped well short of saying that Cousins would be back on the pitch soon. The club wants a full assurance that Cousins has kicked his meth habit and will stay clean for the long haul.
And why should the Eagles be in any hurry, anyway? They’re the only undefeated team in the AFL right now, and they’re showing no signs of slowing down. Cousins could probably sit out the full season, and the Eagles would still be the top seed in the Finals Series. There’s no need to rush Cousins back. I bet he won’t see any action until July at the earliest.
Hell, he might as well have stayed in Malibu. Had he held out a little longer, he probably would have run into Lindsay Lohan — who would be a much better cure for a loss of girlfriend than a three-day ice bender, but that’s just my opinion…
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