Dave’s Football Blog

Steelers won the toss. Willie Parker up the middle. Big Ben on a QB draw, first down. Big Ben passes to Santonio Holmes on the slant, and he runs another 70 yards to the house. Someone told him I had a date tonight, I guess…

How ironic is it that Santonio Holmes played some of his best football this year in Ohio?

If Bill Cowher opts to retire, he can at least go out with a win that ended the Bengals’ season. That’s not as satisfying as going out with a Super Bowl win, but it’s something, and he got his ring already.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go shower up. I’ll see you folks in 2007…

Carson Palmer hit Chris Henry on a long bomb that set Shayne Graham up for a 39-yard field goal. The wind took it wide right. Some might say it was the hand of God swatting the ball away. I won’t. That’s just mean.

I need to leave in about 20 minutes if I want to make this date tonight. Pittsburgh needs to win this one quick…

Meanwhile, Detroit opened up a 39-31 lead on the Cowboys with 1:29 left in that one. Oakland gets the #1 pick if that holds up. I smell Calvin Johnson in your future, Lions fans…

Jeff Reed just kicked a field goal to tie this one up at 17-17. Please don’t tell me this is going to overtime. I’ve got a hot date tonight, and my Treo battery has been run way down so far…

Meanwhile, Detroit just scored another TD and now leads 36-31 with 4:24 left in Dallas. Old man Cowboys fan put his head on the bar in shame…

Saints fans don’t seem to care much that the Panthers have won this game. They’re having a party in the Superdome as the Saints are headed to the playoffs, while the Panthers, who salvaged a .500 season out of what was supposed to be a Super Bowl run, head home and ponder their future, which will include Jake Delhomme, Steve Smith and DeAngelo Williams, but probably not Mike Minter.

Suffice to say the Saints’ starters will be well-rested for their playoff run. I think I might have to root for New Orleans in the playoffs, since my Steelers and Panthers aren’t going. How can you root against New Orleans now, anyway?

So James Farrior just got hit with a 15-yard roughing-the-passer penalty for slamming Carson Palmer to the turf. Palmer stayed downTrainers came out to him at speeds faster than Steve Smith, but Palmer missed only one play.

Bad penalty for Farrior, and one that will leave a bad taste in Bengals’ fans mouths — though not for long, it seems. A pass interference call on DeShea Townsend gave the Bengals the ball on the Steelers’ 7, and three plays later, Palmer found Tony Stewart on the goal line for a TD. Bengals regain the lead, 17-14, with 2:47 left…

And right after the Bengals take the lead, the Steelers take it right back. Willie Parker blasts into the end zone, holds on to the ball this time, and gives the Steelers a 14-10 lead with 7:27 left in the game. A big-haired blonde in a Big Ben jersey is giving it right back to Mullet Boy…

Mike Carey is the ref at the Browns-Texans game. Whom did he get caught in bed with to draw that assignment?

Carson Palmer just found Chris Henry for a 66-yard, YAC-heavy TD. Cops did not pull Henry over and arrest him. More’s the pity. The Bengals now lead, 10-7, and Mullet Boy behind me is jumping around like a Family Feud contestant and talking more shit than Kellen Winslow Jr. on crack.

Meanwhile, John Kasay has tacked on a field goal in New Orleans, extending Carolina’s lead over the Saints’ 2nd team to 31-21…

Fox just showed a shot of the Metrodome stands in the Vikings-Rams game. People looked like they were at the opera, but without the suits…

Mullet Boy just told me he’s been through 15 years of pure hell as a Bengals fan. He can’t be a day over 17 years old…

On a lateral option, Hines Ward tucked the ball and ran to the Cincinnati 5-yard line. Then tackle Willie Colon got called for a 15-yard taunting penalty. Bill Cowher busted out The Scowl(TM) on Colon and told him to cut that bullshit out. At the start of the 4th, the score is still Steelers 7, Bengals 3 — and it remains that way after a 98-yard Steelers drive ended with a Willie Parker fumble on the Bengals’ 1-yard line. Cincinnati recovered. Blame it on the rain, yeah, yeah…

Meanwhile, the Saints’ 2nd team is still making Mike Minter look bad. Carolina still leads, 28-21, at the start of the 4th in New Orleans. They just ran a direct-snap to DeAngelo Williams (first of the day) that turned out to be a reverse to Steve Smith. Sometimes I wonder if the Panthers brass visits the FanHouse every once in a while…

Oh, the Detroit Lions really, really want Oakland to have the #1 pick. They now lead the Cowboys, 30-21, late in the 3rd, after a Tony Romo interception led to another Lions TD…

You know what? Jake Delhomme may be playing against the Saints’ backups right now, but that pump fake and pass to Steve Smith looked pretty hard for just about anybody to defend. I’m still trying to figure out why we haven’t seen more plays like that throughout the season…

Carolina may salvage a .500 record this season after all. They lead 28-14 late in the third.

Meanwhile, the Jets have opened up a 20-3 lead on the Raiders, and Willie Parker has 27 carries for 113 yards on the Bengals with 4:00 left in the 3rd quarter. Parker always seems to do well in Cincinnati. That’s a good thing…

Terrence Newman just scored his first career touchdown for the Dallas Cowboys, who now lead, 21-20. Bill Parcells really wants Matt Millen to have a shot at Brady Quinn, apparently…

Meanwhile, Minnesota is getting blasted out of the Metrodome by the Rams, who lead 24-7 in the 3rd. If I read the playoff scenario on ESPN correctly this morning, Green Bay is eliminated if Detroit and Minnesota lose. That’s what you get when you rely on Detroit and Minnesota to do anything for you, I guess…