Dave’s Football Blog

Right. Where to start in this travesty?

Big Ben has 52 yards passing and 2 INTs, one of which was a tipped pass that was returned for a TD. He’s getting too little protection from his offensive line, and the running game isn’t doing him too many favors. Willie Parker has 38 yards on 13 carries, and Najeh Davenport has been no apparent help so far.

Justin Fargas, meanwhile, has come in at running back and loosened things up for the Raiders, who tacked on a 19-yard field goal to end the half. Fargas has 8 carries for 32 yards, which is counterbalancing Andrew Walter’s less-than-stellar performance — 3 for 9, 39 yards, including 2 incompletions from one yard away to end the half.

LaMont Jordan has only one carry. I’m sure that says something.

So far, this absolutely qualifies as an embarassment. Someone needs to go in there at halftime and remind the Pittsburgh Steelers that they’re the Pittsburgh fucking Steelers…

So the Steeler blitz sacks Andrew Walter on the Raiders 3 yard line, and the following punt let’s Pittsburgh set up in Raiders territory. They started moving the ball decently. Then they took Willie Parker out of the game and put in Dumptruck Davenport. He started running sideways on 3rd and 1. Nobody will ever mistake the Dumptruck for the Bus.

Jeff Reed tacked on another field goal. The Raiders still lead, *shudder*, 7-6.

Jeff Reed kicked a 30-yard field goal after Pittsburgh’s first halfway-decent drive of the game. The O-line still looks like it couldn’t block a powder puff team right now.

Early in the 2nd, the Raiders still lead, 7-3. The fact that I’m typing the phrase, “The Raiders still lead,” makes me fidgety…

We’ve secretly replaced the Pittsburgh Steelers offense with the Duke Blue Devils. Let’s see how the Raiders respond…

Hmmmm… Two interceptions, one returned for a touchdown, a forced fumble, and two sacks. Nice. The offensive line can’t pick up a blitz to save its own ass. This is a level of offensive ineptitude worthy of an afternoon at Wallace Wade Stadium.

Good thing the defense is doing its job. Despite the Steelers special teams giving Oakland great field position, the Raiders have converted only one 3rd down, and Zack Crockett got stuffed on a 4th & 1 play at midfield.

At this rate, Pittsburgh may have to score on defense. One Steelers fan in here has already suggested putting Charlie Batch in the game, but it’s not Ben. It’s horrid line-blocking, horrid play-calling and horrid special teams. This has all the makings of an early disaster.

Another Steelers fan is complaining that the Colts-Broncos game is on the big screens, while the Steelers-Raiders game is relegated to the side plasmas. She’s being kind of an ass about it, too. Those bartenders are going to pop her before it’s over…

In his previous two games, Ben Roethlisberger threw 5 TD passes and no interceptions. Today, he’s thrown two INTs already. One of them just got returned for a touchdown by a guy whose name I won’t even attempt to spell. With 8 minutes left in the 1st quarter, Oakland leads, 7-0.

Who’s calling the plays here? The Raiders have one of the worst run defenses in the NFL, but five of the last six plays have been passes. If that continues, I’ll be campaigning for Ken Whisenhunt to follow Bill Cowher to NC State after the season is over…

A three-man rush broke through the Bengals’ offensive line and forced Carson Palmer to cough up the ball with 10 seconds left. Atlanta recovered. How does a 3-man rush break through a 5-man blocking scheme? Marvin Lewis is going to lambast some people in the film room this week…

Other scores from the early games:

Ravens 35, Saints 14
Jaguars 13, Eagles 3
Bears 41, 49ers 10
Giants 17, Buccanneers 3
Chiefs 35, Seahawks 28
Packers 31, Cardinals 14
Titans 28, Texans 22

The Steelers-Raiders game should be starting soon. Some Steelers fans have joined me at the bar. Should be fun…

Bart Scott just became public enemy #1 among football fans in New Orleans. He tackled Reggie Bush by his ankles and made some sort of flourish as if he were twisting them. Bush came up hobbling. Scott might as well be the head of FEMA after that.

Baltimore still leads, 35-14, and it looks like that score is going to hold. Meanwhile in Cincinnati, Carson Palmer hit Chris Henry on a late TD bomb to put the Bengals within two, but they only have 19 seconds and no time outs left, and they’re way back in their own territory…

So Champps has a fantasy football game in which you pick a QB, 2 RBs, 2 WRs, a kicker and a defense. Every player has a dollar value between $1 and $5, and you can only spend $25 on those seven selections. There’s one contest for the 1:00 PM games and another for the 4:00 PM games. Here’s who I’ve picked for the late game contest:

QB: Ben Roethlisberger ($3)
RB1: Willie Parker ($4)
RB2: LaDainian Tomlinson ($5)
WR1: Hines Ward ($4)
WR2: Jerricho Cotchery ($3)
K: Jeff Reed ($3)
DEF: Jets ($3)

For the second week in a row, the AFC North vs. NFC South contests aren’t going the way I had hoped. Both games are in the 4th quarter, and Atlanta is leading Cincinnati, 29-20, while the Ravens are throttling the Saints, 35-14. Baltimore has intercepted Drew Brees at least three times today. A woman in a Deuce McAllister jersey across the bar has had a completely blank look on her face all afternoon.

Assuming those scores hold up, New Orleans and Atlanta will be tied for first in the NFC South at 5-2, and a Carolina win will put them a half-game back of both — not a terrible place to be midway through the season, but it makes tonight’s game more of a must-win…

The women sitting next to me ordered a brownie. I think I deserve a piece of it for having to listen to their drivel all afternoon…

Chicago’s up 41-0 late in the 3rd. They’ve got 4th and goal from inside the 5 yard line. Why is Lovie Smith electing to go for it? Seriously, with a 41-0 lead, the Bears are going for it on 4th & goal? Why? Did one of the 49ers say something mean about Lovie’s mama?

Thomas Jones got stopped a yard short. Lovie, you just cost my fantasy team three easy points for no apparent reason. You and Chris Mortensen are both on notice…

While Champps doesn’t serve as HQ for any fan bases, you can find little pockets of fans in here today. A small group of Giants fans is sitting on the other side of the bar, and they explode in unison when things go well for New York. Judging from the Giants’ 14-3 lead on Tampa Bay, there have plenty to cheer.

Meanwhile, at a table to my left, a group of Packers fans shouted out after Brett Favre scored a rare rushing TD against Arizona. The Packers now lead the Buzzsaw, 28-7. If Dennis Green has a job next week, it will probably be one in which he sits at a table with Rich Eisen and Marshall Faulk…

Reece as left the building, and I’m now sitting next to two older women, one of whom is talking at length about a custody battle with her ex-husband. I’m now wondering if there’s an extra bar stool next to those Giants fans…