May 29 2006
On the docket
It wouldn’t be an offseason in the NFL if a few of its players weren’t facing the judge.
We’ll brush past Santonio Holmes’ little dust-up in Miami, which will probably result in a small fine and little else. A black man in South Florida could probably get arrested for just standing in the wrong place…
Last week, Fred Smoot and Bryant McKinnie, two of our favorite pervs from the Vikings sex boat scandal, pleaded guilty to misdemeanors stemming from that excursion. The punishment? A $1,000 fine and 48 hours of community service. The judge from Inherit the Wind gave a stiffer penalty than that. Clearly, this lascivious tale of horny football players was more interesting to the press than it was to John Law.
John Law has bigger issues, however, with Bears CB Ricky Manning, Jr. and Jaguars draftee Maurice Drew, who were charged with assault for allegedly beating up a guy with a laptop in Westwood Denny’s. Manning pleaded not guilty and is free on $30,000 bond, but if his lawyers fail him, he could end up serving up to four years in the pokey. Makes you wonder why the Bears didn’t spend their money on offensive players…
Meanwhile, Browns running back Reuben Droughns’ marital troubles have landed him in court. Droughns allegedly tossed his wife out the door after she something about a divorce. Perhaps Droughns didn’t think those legal proceedings were necessary. He now faces assault and harassment charges that could put him in jail for six months. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t Droughns’ wife who filed the charges, but his mother-in-law. Yes, Thanksgiving dinner is going to be fun at that house this year…
Of course, none of these players have fallen as low as Super Bowl record-breaker Timmy Smith, who was convicted of cocaine trafficking and sentenced to 2 1/2 years in prison. I may have issues with the War on Drugs(tm), but man, cocaine really screws up your life, doesn’t it?
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