Mar 23 2006
Guilt by Association football
I like to think of myself as something of a wonk when it comes to the origins of our great game of football. How did this game get to the point where it is today? Was it just as simple as turning a rugby scrum into a scrimmage, or allowing Curly Lambeau to do unique things with the forward pass? At what point did Canadian and Australian football diverge so much from American football? And most importantly, why does American football seem like such a force for good, while Association football — what we commonly call “soccer” in this country — has become so evil?
Yes, I said it, because someone must. Soccer is evil. The sport they call football everywhere else has become a breeding ground for the worst of humanity. Consider the following…
In America, after Mike Vanderjagt missed that field goal that could have taken the Colts-Steelers playoff game to overtime, he lost his job. In Columbia, after Andrés Escobar accidently kicked the ball into his own goal in the 1994 World Cup, he lost his life.
In the Illadelph, Eagles fans throw beer cups at fans of opposing teams. In Giants Stadium, Jets fans once got into a snowball fight. In Liverpool, soccer fans throw their own excrement at other fans.
Players and coaches may hate the referees in football, but you don’t see them doing this. No, Bill Cowher didn’t beat the crap out of Phil Luckett after blowing that coin toss in Detroit, did he?
Oh, and I may have admitted on Sports Bloggers Live that I was happy to see Rodney Harrison carted off the field, but I would not have gotten my fellow haters together and said, “Hey, let’s go throw rocks at his ambulance and try to knock it over.”
To top it all off, you have stories like this…
The World Cup in Germany is set to become a battleground between facists and Muslims, an Italian member of a new European neo-Nazi movement warned.
In a statement published by Italian daily Repubblica, the memeber of AS Roma’s notorious ultras hooligan group claims neo-Nazis across Europe met in Braunau in Austria to plan attacks against supporters from Islamic countries during the World Cup in Germany from June 9 to July 9.
“We are united. For the first time we are talking and planning together, with the English, the Germans, the Dutch, the Spanish, everyone with the same objective. At the World Cup there will be a massacre,” said the Italian ultra.
“We will all be in Germany and there will be Turks, Algerians and Tunisians. The Turks, we can’t stand them. In our country (Italy) there are not many, but in Germany, there are many of those guys there. They are Islamic terrorists.
“We will attack them. They are all enemies that need to be eliminated, just like the police…”
You don’t hear about these things happening at the Super Bowl, do you? I mean, did the Klan promise to show up in Detroit and set fire to non-Aryans? Of course not. We use our favorite sport to escape from these things. We may say we take our football seriously, and we may spew hateful invectives as well as anyone on the planet, but when things turn ugly, we remain acutely aware that it’s still just a game. Soccer fans can’t seem to do that, can they?
Perhaps it’s because there’s never enough scoring in soccer, which leaves fans frustrated and wanting more tangible evidence of offensive prowess. Perhaps it’s the lack of contact in the game itself, which certainly isn’t lacking in football. Football fans love seeing a hard hit on the field. Soccer fans don’t see hard hits on their field, so they resort to delivering their own hard hits off the field. Perhaps it’s because soccer is a game where you can’t use your hands. After all, Americans like to make and build things with their own hands and don’t mind “getting their hands dirty” when doing their work. Soccer is the antithesis of all that.
It’s been said somewhere that idle hands are the devil’s playground. Clearly, all these parents getting their kids to play youth soccer don’t realize the damage they’re doing.
I think it’s high time we burned the infection that is soccer out of our lonely little planet, for the good of the human race. Football was never supposed to mean that you only used your feet, but rather that you played the game on foot, as opposed to playing on horses or camels or segways or whatever rich bastards use to avoid any actual exercise. We need to steer our children toward forms of football the emphasize the importance of good hands. Once we do, we’ll see vast improvements in society as a whole.
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This has to be the worst written, most misinformed, biased blog I have ever seen. First of all, soccer is the biggest sport in the world. EVERYBODY ELSE calls it FOOTball. Get your head out of your ass, and look around. Your ‘lonely little world’ must not go outside the borders of the US.
As for dune coons and turks in Germany, there our version of illegal spicks taking all of the jobs. But worse. At least mexicans are Christian. Everybody hates ragheads. And just because Roma’s hooligans say theres going to be an asswhipping in Germany - doesn’t mean people are going to die…yeah there will probably be a few fights but thats just the nature of the beast; Instead of state lines there people are crossing international borders, with their country’s hopes and dreams on their shirtsleeve. Its called pride.
Mike Vanderjagt should shoot HIMSELF for missing that FG because hes a chump. As far as that Columbian CB getting shot, well, maybe his last name is just a coincidence, but they do things ALOT different in Columbia. Ever Hear of Pablo?
Throwing poop - you’re just jealous you didn’t think of it first. Although you probably don’t have the sack to drop trou in front of 10,000 people on your side of the stadium that you’ll never meet or see again. Rivalries in the EPL are much older than, say, the Pats and the Colts, because they’ve been playing each other for over a hundred years. Liverpool and Manchester, if you bothered to look on a map of England, are close together. Hence the outstanding rivalry between them. (By the way, do you know what the Merseyside Darby is? Check out FSC on Sunday, heathen, and become educated.)
Not enough scoring? Liverpool just scored 18 goals in less than two weeks. Just because the scoring system is different in soccer - one goal = one point, than to ‘football’ - where 1,2,3 and 6 are used for scoring - so your feeble, hooded mind can be confused and flabbergasted by big numbers: Hypothetically, 21 - 14 in ‘football’ is 3-2 in soccer.
Eat a bag of shit dude.
Oh yeah and that shyte about being on foot… it means everything BUT your hands jackass. Soccer is evil!? If you want to go see hits go to an NHL game. YOU HAVE NO IDEA what you are talking about.
“Both clubs feel the mindless actions of a few idiots should not overshadow the efforts of all involved to make sure Alan received the best possible treatment as soon as possible.
“Manchester United would also like to point out they are very grateful for the speedy and efficient help of all Liverpool staff.”
Duh. Its a few punks. Did you see Yawkey Way after the Red Sox SMOKED the Cardinals in the World Series? They get that exited about EVERY game. Its more than a ‘National Pastime’ Its live or die and if you can’t handle it (ahem) then BUGGER OFF.
Shut your mouth youre making US(A) look bad.
As for dune coons and turks in Germany, there our version of illegal spicks taking all of the jobs. But worse. At least mexicans are Christian. Everybody hates ragheads.
And yet you think I’m the one making the USA look bad.
Thank you, drive through.
I didn’t realize “rafa” was the new abbreviation for “retard”. Seriously, go die you racist, ignorant prick.
Dave, keep up the good work.
Im racist. I admit it.
YOU are a pussy.
DIE.
Niggers vs Black People.
Everyone knows theres a difference.
WHY don’t you stand up fpr yourself.
By the way RAFA Benitez is the Coach of Liverpool FC. By the way, my mother is Spanish, and most of my neighbors? Yup, theyre black. I smoke weed with them all.
Fuck off.
The word “for” does NOT have the letter “p” in it.
I stand by by my original assessment, retard.
rafa, you are a fuckin idiot. You should go fuck yourself and eat shit and die. Go watch some gay ass soccer, circle jerk your black neighbors, and when you are done, get the fuck out of my country.
Congratulations.
This blog entry and the comments to it has several of the most ignorant statements I have seen on the Internet for the past 10 years on it.
Sad and funny.
What a fucking retarded article. You are attributing random idiots at soccer games to the game itself? MILLIONS of people go to soccer games every single day, some violent incident happens at one and you generalize and make sweeping generalizations about a game as diverse and huge as soccer?