Dave’s Football Blog

The NFL is still looking at L.A. L.A., meanwhile, is looking at Matt Leinart and Paris Hilton. Maybe Matt Leinart should be looking at this video.

The point is that Los Angeles couldn’t care less about not having an NFL team. They have two football teams already in USC and UCLA, and they have all the sporting distraction they need elsewhere. If L.A. really, truly wanted an NFL team, it would have gotten one by now. The only reason to put a team back in L.A. is money, and the NFL has plenty of it already. Move an existing team there if you must, but expansion is unnecessary at this stage.

BTW, while looking for a different web link with more info on Paris Hilton’s new bang buddy of choice, Google gave me this headline. Believe it or not, it has nothing to do with Paris Hilton.

(Video spotted on Boing Boing.)

A small piece of football history has passed. Howard “Red” Hickey, the man who invented the shotgun formation while he was head coach of the San Francisco 49ers in 1960, died yesterday at the age of 89. Hickey used the formation for only one season in San Francisco, but after he became an assistant for the Dallas Cowboys, he managed to get Tom Landry to use it, and that helped the formation spread throughout football.

No word yet on whether Junior Walker and the All-Stars will be playing at the funeral.

73 vials of crack cocaine: $1,095.

21 grams of powder cocaine: $840.

Having football fans everywhere watch you get arrested twice in the same month: Priceless.

Randy Moss’ agent is entertaining, isn’t he? I mean, it’s bad enough that Dante DiTrapano has a name that makes you ask, “Didn’t he get whacked by Big Pussy midway through Season 1?”, but the fact that he’s a crackhead who can’t stay out of trouble? Come on. You can’t top that.

I love how DiTrapano’s lawyer said he missed the hearing because he was in the hospital, “receiving treatment for a medical condition he had prior to his arrest.” Even money says that “condition” has something to do with DiTrapano’s affection for peanut butter and crack sandwiches…

Here’s all the reason you need to rail against the NFL’s curtailing of end-zone celebrations…

“I think it’s needed,” San Diego coach Marty Schottenheimer told The Associated Press. Schottenheimer is entering his 21st season, most of any current head coach. “The game is about the team, not the individual.”

Any time Marty Schottenheimer tells you that you need to do something, you should run screaming from whatever that something is. Things go terribly wrong around this man. It’s like William H. Macy from “The Cooler.” If Marty Schottenheimer walks past your craps table, you’re guaranteed to roll snake eyes. Daunte Culpepper is probably thanking his lucky stars that Marty wasn’t on the boat with him.

A.J. Smith knows this better than anyone. Remember, it was Marty who said he wanted to bring Drew Brees back for another year…

Y’know, as I read columns like this one from Pete Prisco, I’m constantly reminding myself that Keyshawn is far from the worst troublemaker the Panthers have ever had at receiver. That makes me feel less cautious about this signing…

He has been called selfish, egocentric, cocky and an “I” guy, which is why some call Keyshawn Johnson by a not-so-nice nickname.

He’s “Me-shawn.”

But the way the Carolina Panthers view it, that was the old Keyshawn Johnson, the one who yearned for the spotlight nearly as much as he did the damn ball.

Want proof that Johnson, who signed a free-agent deal with the Panthers last week, is far different than people really know? He flew here to the site of the league’s winter meetings to meet Monday morning with coach John Fox because Fox was in Florida last week when Johnson signed with the Panthers in Charlotte.

Flew here on his dime, too.

“People have memories of Keyshawn when he was very, very young,” said Fox. “He’s grown up a lot as a player and a person. If anything, he’s going to be a real positive presence in our locker room.”

So basically, Keyshawn is Bernie Mac from “Mr. 3000.” He’s gotten through the selfish, stats-oriented portion of his career, and now he’s going to be the friendly, gregarious old guy in the corner locker who’s looking for one more shot at glory.

Now all the Panthers need are some linebackers, a tight end and some depth at running back. Good thing there’s a draft coming up next month.

In its continuing effort to keep its Super Bowl-winning team intact, Pittsburgh added some much-needed depth at the running back and wide receiver positions by re-signing Verron Haynes and Quincy Morgan, who were the last two unrestricted free agents on Pittsburgh’s roster. No word yet on restricted free agent corner Ike Taylor, but he will likely return to the team.

In addition, the Steelers picked up three compensatory draft picks — two in the 4th round and one in the 5th round — after losing players in free agency last year. NFL rules prevent the Steelers from trading the compensatory picks, but they still have one pick in every round on top of that, so it’s entirely possible that they could move up in this draft and get an impact player. Fox Sports’ latest mock draft has offensive players like Santonio Holmes, Sinorice Moss and DeAngelo Williams slipping to late in the first round.

Then again, given Pittsburgh’s recent draft history, I don’t think they need any advice from this blogger…

In what may be the biggest football no-brainer since the Indianapolis Colts chose Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf, the Carolina Panthers signed head coach John Fox to a five-year contract extension yesterday.

You can’t argue with the results. Fox took a 1-15 team going nowhere to the Super Bowl two years later, came within one game of taking a squad ravaged by injuries to the playoffs the next year, and then brought the Panthers back to the NFC Championship game the following year. He’s been great for this franchise, and I hope he sticks around as long as Bill Cowher has stuck around Pittsburgh. Of course, I also hope it takes Fox a little less time than Cowher took to win a Super Bowl…

See, Dhani, it’s only spring, not summer. Thus, the time is not yet right for dancing in the street.

What I gather from this story is that cops in Miami treat party-goers much the same way the NFL treats end zone dancers. So if you’re partying in South Florida, just spike your drink and walk back to the sidelines, and there won’t be any trouble.

And God is not pleased. No.

(Thanks, Jamie!)

The 2006 NFL season begins on Thursday, September 7, at 8:00 PM, when the Pittsburgh Steelers host the Miami Dolphins. Tagliabue said it, I believe it, and that settles that.

Say, if Daunte Culpepper’s knee isn’t ready to go in that game, Tommy Maddox may be starting for the Dolphins. Wouldn’t that be some irony?

Anyway, that Steelers-Dolphins game will also mark the return of football to NBC, which means I may actually find out what other shows NBC airs these days — aside from their 17 variants of Law & Order, of course. I hear Nikki Cox has a gig on NBC. She was once engaged to Bobcat Goldthwait and is reportedly now engaged to Jay Mohr. I fail to see how that’s an upgrade, really.

But I digress. NBC also scored an interesting matchup for its first Sunday Night game — Colts vs. Giants. Even money says the announcers in the booth will get a visit from Archie Manning, football’s favorite soccer mom. Oh, and we’re now getting three games on Thanksgiving instead of two. I think that may be pushing it just a bit. Thanksgiving football is meant to be played in Dallas and Detroit, not Kansas City. It’s just tradition, y’know?