Dave’s Football Blog

Ricky Williams is back. He needs a shave and a haircut.

On the bright side, his teammates can get a really good deal on new yoga mats. Maybe Ricky can set up an online store and try to sell them around the globe. Maybe if he sells 8.6 million of them, he can leave football again.

Because we all know he only came back to cover his debts. We all do crap we don’t like to do to pay the bills, don’t we?

I spent a few minutes tonight talking with the gang at Sports Bloggers Live for their NFC South preview. While the live show is already done, you can grab the podcast edition from the SBL page at Podcast Alley. You can also find their podcast feed on that page and in iTunes.

The SBL crew is a fun bunch. I hope I get the chance to talk to them again during the season.

As a Steelers fan, I’m not going to sit around a fret about the fact that Dan Marino turned down an offer from the Steelers in 2000.

Sure, it would have been nice to see him return to western Pennsylvania for one last run. (While Marino was in college, Sports Illustrated ran a feature story on him with the headline, “He’s a Pittsburgh kind of guy.”) Still, Marino was at the end of his career and probably would have spent more time trying to mentor Kordell Stewart than building on any of his passing records. Would you have wanted that job?

Steelers fans should be a lot more upset that they didn’t draft Marino in 1983. Seven picks ahead of the Dolphins, Pittsburgh chose Texas Tech nose tackle Gabriel Rivera. He bolted for the USFL. Go Google Gabriel Rivera now and see what you find.

Of course, my favorite part of this story is Don Shula turning into a bitter old man. When asked if Marino benefitted from only having two coaches, Shula replied, “You mean he had one coach. Look at the numbers. They speak for themselves.” Yeah, Shula has two Super Bowl rings, and Johnson has… two Super Bowl rings. Can’t wait to see if Johnson and his hair enter that pissing contest…

The Dallas Cowboys will honor the “Triplets” — Troy Aikman, Michael Irvin and Emmitt Smith — by adding them to the Ring of Honor in a ceremony on Monday, Sept. 19, presumably during halftime of the Redskins-Cowboys game that night in Dallas.

“The Redskins are going to hate it,” said Smith. “They better hate it because I don’t care much for them.”

How soon is kickoff again?

Y’know, these Bluetooth temperature monitor pills may go to great lengths to prevent another tragedy like Korey Stringer, but at $2,500 a pop, those pills are not cheap. I do not want to be the guy who has to go fishing for those things.

I guarantee you, though, that one of them will end up on eBay before it’s all said and done. FOR SALE: Temperature Monitoring Device that’s been through Donovan McNabb’s intestines! Free shipping if you use BuyItNow!

New England Patriots linebacker Tedy Bruschi has decided to sit out the 2005 season. Bruschi, as you might recall, suffered a mild stroke last February and wants to finish up his rehab before making a decision on whether or not to return in 2006.

It’ll be quite a story if Bruschi does return, though he may find himself competing with Mark Fields for feel-good story of 2006…

Heisman Trophy-winning wideout Tim Brown signed a one-day contract with the Raiders and officially retired as a member of the Silver and Black. He finished his career with 1094 receptions (3rd all-time behind Jerry Rice and Cris Carter) for 14934 yards (2nd all-time behind Rice) and 100 receiving touchdowns. (tied for 3rd all-time with Steve Largent, take a wild guess who #1 and #2 are…)

Reports are now emerging that Brown wants to buy into a NASCAR team, which I find completely baffling. NASCAR racing replaced hockey a few years ago as the whitest sport in America. Why exactly does Brown want to get involved with a garage full of rednecks? We already know he’s not going to drive the car.

Maybe Brown will find a way to lure Danica Patrick out of the Indy Racing League and into NASCAR. Then again, word in NASCAR circles is that Danica’s already said she’d rather not race rental cars.

Travis Henry lost his starting running back job in Buffalo to Willis McGahee and asked for a trade because he didn’t want to be a backup. So the Bills traded him to Tennessee over the weekend, where he’s going to be… a backup.

Granted, Chris Brown has a DeShaun Foster-like rep for being injury prone, so Henry might get more playing time if Brown gets hurt. Provided he holds onto the ball this time, of course…

Memo to all desperate losers:

If you’re going to impersonate an NFL quarterback in a feeble attempt to get laid — which, by the way, is something this blog does not wish to endorse — then make sure that you:

A.) Actually look like the QB you’re impersonating, and
B.) Aim high.

Ben Roethlisberger is a good high target. But Brian St. Pierre? What moron goes out there and impersonates Brian St. Pierre to get a date? You might as well pretend you’re Tim Couch.

Sports Network’s NFL training camp previews have a distinct flair for the obvious. Check out this snippet from their Steelers preview:

With running backs Jerome Bettis and Duce Staley not getting any younger and Ben Roethlisberger on the way up, the Steelers are likely to heap more upon the second-year pro in the passing game during the summer.

Um, yeah. Roethlisberger asked for that, didn’t he?

Notice, also, that Sports Network put all the running game onus on Staley and Bettis and doesn’t bother to mention 2nd-year backup Willie Parker. Keep an eye on that kid. If he stays healthy and gets an opportunity to run the ball, stand back.

Meanwhile, fresh off an appearance with his golfing girlfriend, Big Ben will be competing with Bengals QB Carson Palmer in a passing contest on the EA Sports Challenge on CBS this weekend. Check your local listenings and all that.